Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Dear Serenity,
So...for some odd reason...I had a flashback of when I was pregnant with you.
I think I was between 4-6 months. Your cousin Taylor was 5 years old.
We were at the poboy shop and Taylor was eating some fruit snacks.
I asked him for one for me and he fed it to me.
So when I asked him for another piece to "feed baby" (meaning you), he took the fruit snack and started to "feed" you by putting the fruit snack "in" my tummy.
It took me a second to realize what was happening. I asked him to "feed baby." He did.
Your birthday is in a mere 4 months.
Am I planning on throwing a party? I have no clue. I guess when that time gets closer we'll figure it out right?
Who knows...We'll have a Mommy Daughter get together and just spend that day together.
That weekend will be your aunt Emaly & uncle Tommy's wedding weekend too...then it's gonna be aunt Annie's wedding the weekend after...busy busy summer.
You're only 2 years old. There are plenty of things that I wish to show you and I pray that you understand as you grow older.
Your too young to realize how much impact the opposite are gonna have on you, but when that day comes I pray that you remember one thing: if anyone breaks your heart, he's not worth it.
It took me a while to figure that out.
Actually, it took 23 years to figure that out.
No, less than that, but it took me that long to actually put it to practice it.
I would be heartbroken when I was out of one relationship. I would cry my eyes out.
A day, a week, a month would go by...and the same thing would happen. Cry my eyes out.
Luckily for me, I did meet new people and I was able to luckily make new memories.
Now this time around, it is the longest that I am single.
And guess what...I'm okay with it.
Weird...new...kinda refreshing...but I'm okay.
Of course if I was currently with "one" particular person I would be even more than okay.
(But as I stated before, life doesn't go the way we want it to go)
I learned that a broken heart doesnt stop the world from turning.
It doesnt stop the sun from coming up the next morning
It doesnt stop me from breathing.
And I pray that when you get to that age and you experience all the joys and pain of boyfriends and your "first love" that if it doesnt work...you realize that it's not the end of YOUR world.
You will hear it when the time comes that there are plenty of fishes in the sea.
And you know what, it's true.
One may leave for another to enter.
You will love plenty of times as you grow older...and I pray that none of them causes you to be distraught to the point where no one will be able to help you piece your heart back together.
If it's time you need. Then take it.
But promise me that you will not allow just ONE guy ruin it for the rest.
Just only at two years old...I can see you growing up and catching many guy's attention.
Choose wisely.
Choose the one that will love you for you and not try to change you.
Choose the one that will not choose his friends over you.
Choose the one who will make the time to be with you.
Choose the one who will love you as much as if not more than you love him.
Don't make the mistakes that I did.
I fell for the one that tried to change me.
I fell for the one who chose his friends over the both of us.
I fell for the one who was preoccupied and had his own life and no room for us.
I fell for the one that I love and not the one that loved me.
And for that I ended up with more broken hearts than I would have dreamed.
I see you acting more and more like me.
And if thats the case, once you realized what boys are...I have a feeling that is not gonna be any different than how I was...boy crazy. Not something I'm proud of, but I'm trying to prep myself for when that da comes...
ways down the line...but like every parent I've met. Time flies.
And they are right. It's just like yesterday I remember going shopping for clothes for you and you were still kicking in my stomach...and now you're running around.
Feeding yourself.
You know the difference between Princess and the Frog and Finding Nemo.
You know where to find candy when I have it in my purse.
You know how to give my money to the man in my life. (Remind me again to thank Gogo for teaching you that)
You know that you want juice, milk, or water.
You know when I have to go to work.
You know when I come home from work. (I love opening the door and hearing you scream "MOMMY" while running up to me to have me hold you)
You know how to tell me to pick you up.
You know how to come sit at the table while I eat dinner and have more food.
You know how to pose for the camera
You know how to take pictures with the camera.
You know how to tell me you love me and wrap your arms around me and kiss me. (I hope that this one doesnt change at all)
Now...next step potty training.
I'm gonna need you're help baby girl.
You already know when your diaper is wet...not I just gotta figure out a way to get you to tell me before it happens.
A mother can dream.
You are slumbering away next to me as I type up this note.
There are so many things I wish to remain the same...
But I know that its inevitable.
No matter what it will never change one thing.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
