Mommy Wishes Baby....

HAPPY GOBBLE DAY!!!

The family went to Maba's house and we had a hot pot luck and then turduckin for dinner.  Next Thanksgiving you will be around.  Of course, you'll only be five months old but nevertheless...You'll be here.  In person.  In my arms!  In your Daddy's arms too.  Hopefully.  Daddy and I are currently at a bump in the road.  I'm not sure if it's a temporary or permanent situation...I'm truly hoping its temporary, but I guess we have to wait and see.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving ^_^ There are so many things that I am thankful for...and listing them will take forever...so I'll just cut it down to the two most important ones to me...family and friends.  I love you guys!!! And thanks for the support ^_^ Hopefully everyone's Thanksgiving was drama free... Mine was...I guess it's cause the drama happened, two days before the holiday. How am I taking it?  I'm not even sure. @ times I'm okay, and then there are times when I just want to break down and cry.  And it's not even because of him, but rather what I put myself in.  There is no one to blame but myself...and what can I do?  Everything is already on it's way, and as much support and encouragement I've received from everyone...I can't help but feel so alone.  Now that feeling, is all because of him.  But of course, he doesn't see that.  Somewhere along the way, in all my relationships...it's as if anything went wrong...I would get the blame.  Maybe now is the time that I take for myself.  First off I am finishing school.  After five years, I am finally done...granted I still have one class to finish...but I'll be walking December 7.  Secondly, there's a major change in my life...it's happened all around me, but this time...it's going to be me.  What am I supposed to do?  How am I supposed to handle this?  All on my own.  Without him.  But it's these experiences that makes it so memorable right?  The fact that you handled it all on your own?  If that's the case then why do I feel like crap? Is it possible to love someone...even though you don't want to be with them???  Cause that's still a mystery for me.  How is it that 2 days prior you tell me that your mom called me too selfish for you...and that you go to your boys house to forget about me that you can still love me?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Define Selfish Cause apparently that's what my now ex-boyfriend feels that I am being because I would like for him to spend more time with me... I didn't realize wanting to spending time with your "boyfriend" would be considered selfish. But it's okay though. Cause we are no longer together.  Good thing or bad? I don't know. I guess time will tell.

Dear Baby

Hello there little one! It's going to be a long while before you are going to read this, but it's okay.  At least you'll get to know my thoughts while you're still inside my tummy.  You are only 11 weeks old...at least according to the nurses.  The reason why I am writing to you now is to let you know the timeline.  Here are some dates for you:
October 18, 2007 - Mommy knew you exist!  I took a pregnancy test.  It was positive. 
November 18, 2007 - Mommy & Aunt Julie got to hear your heart beating!
I was very surprised at how quick your heart was beating.  Sorry your Daddy couldn't be there.  Daddy had to work.  Hopefully both Mommy & Daddy will be at the rest of the doctor's appointment within the next two weeks.  1st ultrasound and I think they have to check on some stuff for Mommy too.  Hopefully Mommy will get to see you inside my belly when I go back to the doctors.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Some Things Are Not Supposed to Be Experienced Alone... And this is one of them.  There is nothing in the world that can comfort you like that of someone that you love and knowing that they love you back.  Knowing that every second you are thinking of them and they are thinking of you...but why is it that sometimes it seems like you love that person more than they love you? There are times when all I wish to do is sit and cry.  And think that  someone will be there to comfort me and not yell at me because I'm being emotional.  If you were going through what I'm going through, you'd be emotional too...but nope.  All he seems to do is say I'm too weak.  You  have no idea how it feels until you've been through it. With the recent events it's as if the decision that I've made in my life...