Dear Serenity,
Only three more hours and this year will be over with and again you amaze me with your spunky personality. The more I look at you the more I see me in you...and honestly, it scares me.
Not saying that it's a bad thing...but I just hope and pray that as you get older I can be able to be the parent that you need...not one that you want.
I hope that you realize everything that I do I am doing for you.
I have experienced a lot of ups and downs this year...and as long as I have you with me, I don't care.
Mommy is now 28 years old...single parent to you...thankfully I have the help of my family to help raise you. Things will never be the same after this. You stopped going to daycare this year.
Ricky left for New Zealand...Grandpa had multiple surgeries...You are an international traveler! Mommy lost a love and fell in love again...You are getting an older sister and a younger sibling...a new Daddy...Will he ever take the place of Ricky? That is something you will have to determine as you get older. No one can tell you that someone else will take Ricky's place...but I have one promise to make to you and that is I will never keep you away from Ricky.
For the past 5 years that I've known Ricky, I have never hidden from him.
If he wants to contact you he knows how to get in contact with you.
I hope he's keeping a journal of sorts for you. That way when you grow older you can see what he's been doing...his struggles...his accomplishments...and anything that may fall in between. Things may not be a happily ever after with Ricky and I but I want you to know that it does not change the fact that we both love you very much. I can't speak for Ricky, but I know for myself...no matter what obstacles come my way NOTHING and NO ONE will ever change the way I feel for you baby girl.
We've also got news that you will have a cousin from your Auntie Crystal! I remember telling you the news after I found out about it and you said "Mommy, I love baby already!" And you wanted Auntie Crystal to name baby "Baby"...I do believe Auntie Crystal is contemplating that name for the time being...You also spoke with your Grandmother. We've been waiting for Nanu to come over with your presents. You've been waiting patiently and asking me about them too. Patience is a virtue.
You have gotten very mischievous...still somewhat wondering if that is a good thing or a bad thing...but I'm sure in due time I will find out soon enough.
And when that day comes I have a feeling I'm gonna be pulling my hair out. Of course in a good way. Mommy will always love you baby girl.
There's a saying..."No one knows the strength of my love for you.
After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from
the inside." I realize that my parents have a harsh way of showing
compassion and what not to me when it comes to how I raise and
discipline you...is it because of how I'm doing it? Is it the right way? I don't think there is a right or wrong way...more of trial and errors.
If I discipline you one way and that doesn't work than I switch and go to another method. I think as of now that's the best way for us. So far "you get into trouble, I take away your iPad" method seems to be working okay so far. You haven't repeated what you got in trouble for...you've just been getting into different troubles...as I said before...mischievous....and you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way =)
Forever and Always,
Mommy
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Let's do some math...
Dear Serenity,
It's been a good 5 months since I last wrote a post on here. A lot has happened in our lives haven't it baby girl? You're getting a step daddy and a step sister ^_^ We had a great month in Vietnam. You met a lot of your great aunts and uncles. A lot of your cousins too! Of course there was a language barrier, but I think its a universal language with kiddos cause you and your cousins played without any issues...
Before leaving for Vietnam you got to spend some time with your grandmother and aunt. You had a fun time and they took you shopping. I can tell by your outfit that you picked out the dress! Either way, you looked lovely as always ;)
Not much really happened in regards to Ricky though. Ricky sent you a letter from New Zealand. One letter since he's been in New Zealand. Called less than a handful of times...but yea. That's the amount of contact he has attempted...
It's been uneventful...Apparently Ricky does not know how to spell your last name. Or rather...your future stepmother does not know...You are going to be an older sister to your half-sister. And for the sake of that child, I pray Ricky gets his act together. And quick.
Ricky owes you $458.21 a month for child support. Including $1,374.36 of back child support.
The $458.21 started from June 2011. It has now been 18 months...so total now you should have $8,247.78 worth of child support. Key word, SHOULD HAVE. So far, since June 2011, you've received $1,785.00 worth of child support. Last payment was made in May, 2012. Now, you saw your grandmother and aunt in October before we left for Vietnam...if I include the $100.00 she gave me for you at that time...then you would have a whopping $1,885.00 worth of child support for the past 18 months...wonder how he's going to support the new baby on the way. Probably the same way that he is "supporting" you.
Granted, Ricky hates my guts, but he is still obligated to you. I don't care for him, either but I still do what I have to do to make sure you are well taken care of...why? Because I know where my responsibilities are. I know some parents where they cannot be their physically for their kid/s they are there helping with money or other needs when necessary. While others don't even make an attempt to try and help...sad to say, like Ricky...Does he try? Let's see...When he was here in Louisiana, no. Does he try now that he's in New Zealand? That's still a no.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have done the whole "crazy baby momma" stuff and said "F it." Filed for child support from day one...made it on a court ordered schedule...but as you can see I didn't do that. Why? Because I gave Ricky a chance to prove that he had balls that makes him a man. And it NEVER fails....he proves to me that he CANNOT be the man that YOU need in your life.
Of course it's better late than never if he decides to "man up" but when you get older, you will be the judge of that. I have nothing to hide from you when it comes to Ricky. I've told you the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. And even in the future I have no intention of hiding any of it.
Love you always Princess,
Mommy
It's been a good 5 months since I last wrote a post on here. A lot has happened in our lives haven't it baby girl? You're getting a step daddy and a step sister ^_^ We had a great month in Vietnam. You met a lot of your great aunts and uncles. A lot of your cousins too! Of course there was a language barrier, but I think its a universal language with kiddos cause you and your cousins played without any issues...
Before leaving for Vietnam you got to spend some time with your grandmother and aunt. You had a fun time and they took you shopping. I can tell by your outfit that you picked out the dress! Either way, you looked lovely as always ;)
Not much really happened in regards to Ricky though. Ricky sent you a letter from New Zealand. One letter since he's been in New Zealand. Called less than a handful of times...but yea. That's the amount of contact he has attempted...
It's been uneventful...Apparently Ricky does not know how to spell your last name. Or rather...your future stepmother does not know...You are going to be an older sister to your half-sister. And for the sake of that child, I pray Ricky gets his act together. And quick.
Ricky owes you $458.21 a month for child support. Including $1,374.36 of back child support.
The $458.21 started from June 2011. It has now been 18 months...so total now you should have $8,247.78 worth of child support. Key word, SHOULD HAVE. So far, since June 2011, you've received $1,785.00 worth of child support. Last payment was made in May, 2012. Now, you saw your grandmother and aunt in October before we left for Vietnam...if I include the $100.00 she gave me for you at that time...then you would have a whopping $1,885.00 worth of child support for the past 18 months...wonder how he's going to support the new baby on the way. Probably the same way that he is "supporting" you.
Granted, Ricky hates my guts, but he is still obligated to you. I don't care for him, either but I still do what I have to do to make sure you are well taken care of...why? Because I know where my responsibilities are. I know some parents where they cannot be their physically for their kid/s they are there helping with money or other needs when necessary. While others don't even make an attempt to try and help...sad to say, like Ricky...Does he try? Let's see...When he was here in Louisiana, no. Does he try now that he's in New Zealand? That's still a no.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have done the whole "crazy baby momma" stuff and said "F it." Filed for child support from day one...made it on a court ordered schedule...but as you can see I didn't do that. Why? Because I gave Ricky a chance to prove that he had balls that makes him a man. And it NEVER fails....he proves to me that he CANNOT be the man that YOU need in your life.
Of course it's better late than never if he decides to "man up" but when you get older, you will be the judge of that. I have nothing to hide from you when it comes to Ricky. I've told you the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. And even in the future I have no intention of hiding any of it.
Love you always Princess,
Mommy
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