Tuesday May 24, 2011
Dear Serenity,
It's finally done. It's taken Mommy almost three years but I did it. I did it for you baby girl. Daddy now owes you $458.00 every month. The system calculates child support so weird. I don't think I will ever get it but hey, that's what the lawyers for :)
The lawyer called Daddy to the stand to verify some information. They had previously sent Daddy some interrogation papers and of course, your father didn't return it as requested. He wrote out his work history...and I couldn't help but notice how he listed that from August 2009 - April 2010 he listed he was unemployed. Okay, no biggie right? BUT the reason why he was unemployed?! At my request so that he can watch you...umm...Kim was watching you through that entire time. Then it dawned on me! That was the exact months that I was with Darren and your Daddy wanted NOTHING to do with us. Apparently your Daddy felt that I was being unreasonable and did not give him time to heal from a broken heart...I know I didn't cause Daddy to have a broken heart...he never really loved me. He loved you though...but not enough to try to see you since I had a new boyfriend. Ironic, isn't it?! Then he said he worked at Performance for six months?! That's another lie! Your Daddy does not have the greatest of memories. Wonder why that is...O_o Oh, I believe your aunt Crystal is coming to visit you. Supposedly she should be here this weekend, but who knows. Hope you enjoy your time with your Daddy this weekend. I hope that as time goes by, you are not so sad whenever you come home.
Thelma was with your Daddy again. Amazingly it seems as if he is truly happy and for that I am happy for the both of them. Everyone deserves to be happy. We've found our happiness with Ramon, haven't we baby girl?! And for that I will forever be grateful for Ramon.
Ramon and I will be starting the second chapter in my life. And I want you to know that just because I am with Ramon, it does not mean that I love you any less. Similar to your Daddy. Just because he's with Thelma does not mean that he loves you any less. We both love you in our own little ways and I hope that as you grow older you realize that.
Apparently Daddy is starting his own clothing line. I wish him the best of luck with his endeavor. Just like Mommy and yourself, he also deserves nothing but the best. No matter what may happen, no matter how many ugly text messages he may send me telling me he hates me...or he only wants to deal with me when it comes to you...I will still wish him nothing but the best. Why?! I don't know. I'm too kind? Maybe I have too big of a heart O_o? Well, regardless of whatever the reason may be...Best wishes for all around ^_^
I've said this before and I am going to say it forever...you look more and more like your Daddy every day. And yet you act more and more like me. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing yet...but whatever it comes out...it's great either way.
As you grow older, never let anyone ever tell you that neither Mommy or Daddy don't love you. Don't let them make you think that no one cares because you have plenty of people that care for you. We all care for you and we all love you.
Especially me.
Hugs and kisses baby girl,
Mommy
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Your First Weekend with Daddy
Daddy picked you up on Friday and the incident happened.
I called Saturday and Daddy said that you were sleeping. I asked him to call me back whenever you woke up and surprisingly he did. Unfortunately, I was away from my phone when he called back :( Of course I returned the call and got to hear your voice. YAY! You seemed to be having so much fun with your Daddy. And a little piece of me fell apart because of it.
Sunday @ 5:00 PM, Daddy dropped you off at home. You had on a teal Australia shirt on with some plaid shorts to match and a pair of silver and pink Dora sandals that your Daddy had bought for you. When Thelma unbuckled you from the car seat and you just started whining. "Daddy, I wanna go with you." Seeing you cry like that just shattered my heart to little pieces. If it hurt me to see you crying for you Daddy, I know it hurt him a whole lot more. I do wish that Daddy took a more active role in your life. I also wished that he would do it on his own accord and that he did not wait for me to take the initiative to make it so that it will happen. Too bad...like Mommy said before, we can't always get what we want. I hope that one day in the future when Daddy has found the love his life, he and I can be friends again. Or maybe when he has found his happiness again with you that he and I can become friends. It is not fair to you to see Daddy and Mommy fighting. That is not what love is or is it even what love consists of. I am sorry that you have to see your Daddy and I interact this way. Just know that we love you, no matter what. Even if Daddy will hate me forever, he will always love you. I on the other hand will never hate your Daddy. I don't and never will. I can't say the same for the decisions he makes, but as a person he CAN be someone great. Maybe it doesn't help out that much since he & I are both rats. It's believed that rats are stubborn and hard-headed creatures. That would actually go for all three of us since you are a rat too! Oh! Maybe that's why you always like to yell back at me! Now I get it! :D
You cried for a good 15 minutes that day after Daddy dropped you off. I am praying that as time goes by and you see Daddy every other weekend that that is not the case.
Ever since Ramon has been working earlier, you don't get up like I need for you to get up.
Maybe I have not disciplined you well enough. Either that or you are one hard child to get up now...
Your day is very simple. Wake up, drop you off at Daddy Martin & Auntie Mommy's house...you see Bianca, Veronica, and Taylor...go to daycare...and then you come home. I need you up by 7 AM and we can't leave the house any later than 7:15 AM or Mommy will be late getting to work. Lately, when I try to wake you up, you tell me "No Mommy, I don't want to go!" You will then grab the blanket and pull it over your head and fall back asleep.
Can't keep doing that baby girl. You are starting to look more and more like your Daddy. Acting more and more like me. As of this point, I can't tell if that is a good thing...but I'm going to take it for what it's worth.
Loving you always and forever,
Mommy
I called Saturday and Daddy said that you were sleeping. I asked him to call me back whenever you woke up and surprisingly he did. Unfortunately, I was away from my phone when he called back :( Of course I returned the call and got to hear your voice. YAY! You seemed to be having so much fun with your Daddy. And a little piece of me fell apart because of it.
Sunday @ 5:00 PM, Daddy dropped you off at home. You had on a teal Australia shirt on with some plaid shorts to match and a pair of silver and pink Dora sandals that your Daddy had bought for you. When Thelma unbuckled you from the car seat and you just started whining. "Daddy, I wanna go with you." Seeing you cry like that just shattered my heart to little pieces. If it hurt me to see you crying for you Daddy, I know it hurt him a whole lot more. I do wish that Daddy took a more active role in your life. I also wished that he would do it on his own accord and that he did not wait for me to take the initiative to make it so that it will happen. Too bad...like Mommy said before, we can't always get what we want. I hope that one day in the future when Daddy has found the love his life, he and I can be friends again. Or maybe when he has found his happiness again with you that he and I can become friends. It is not fair to you to see Daddy and Mommy fighting. That is not what love is or is it even what love consists of. I am sorry that you have to see your Daddy and I interact this way. Just know that we love you, no matter what. Even if Daddy will hate me forever, he will always love you. I on the other hand will never hate your Daddy. I don't and never will. I can't say the same for the decisions he makes, but as a person he CAN be someone great. Maybe it doesn't help out that much since he & I are both rats. It's believed that rats are stubborn and hard-headed creatures. That would actually go for all three of us since you are a rat too! Oh! Maybe that's why you always like to yell back at me! Now I get it! :D
You cried for a good 15 minutes that day after Daddy dropped you off. I am praying that as time goes by and you see Daddy every other weekend that that is not the case.
Ever since Ramon has been working earlier, you don't get up like I need for you to get up.
Maybe I have not disciplined you well enough. Either that or you are one hard child to get up now...
Your day is very simple. Wake up, drop you off at Daddy Martin & Auntie Mommy's house...you see Bianca, Veronica, and Taylor...go to daycare...and then you come home. I need you up by 7 AM and we can't leave the house any later than 7:15 AM or Mommy will be late getting to work. Lately, when I try to wake you up, you tell me "No Mommy, I don't want to go!" You will then grab the blanket and pull it over your head and fall back asleep.
Can't keep doing that baby girl. You are starting to look more and more like your Daddy. Acting more and more like me. As of this point, I can't tell if that is a good thing...but I'm going to take it for what it's worth.
Loving you always and forever,
Mommy
Saturday, May 14, 2011
And Yet It Still Seems Unfinished...
So, I finally PAID for the court papers to be done.
Not your Daddy.
Odd right? He's going around saying I'm keeping you from him and not allowing him to see you...but yet I would go and spend the money to get it done so he CAN see you and so he CAN spend time with you. But then again, that's how your Daddy is.
I remember our conversations. There was one particular conversation where he told me that once I got the papers drawn up to send it to his lawyer.
Why is it, that he had his own lawyer, but yet didn't get the papers done?!
He said he misses you. Says he loves you. But yet he stalled when it came time to get the papers done. All in all it boiled down I'm guessing cause he did not have the money to get it done. Why? Cause Daddy doesn't have a job. Come to think of it...I don't think he has a job now. Hope your Daddy changes his mind really soon about the employment issue...
Anyhow...We finally get a court date. Your Daddy brings his girlfriend Thelma to court with him that day. I saw her...He didn't introduce us though. Wonder why...O_o
He didn't contest that he was your Daddy...so we came upon an agreement...he gets to see you every other weekend. And we will be revisiting the issue of child support later on this month.
Just to give you a quick background of our relationship with your Daddy...Mommy and Daddy had crossed this bridge before. There were plenty of times when I tried to make a compromise with your Daddy so that we could have a set schedule...but once again, since we could not come to an agreement. I spent MY money and got it to where the court will decide. And since I had to pay for it and not him...I am going to make sure that I get the child support money from him for you.
This is not the first arrangement your Daddy and I made. I am hoping however, that this is the one he sticks to and abides by, but we won't know how well this will last.
After our hearing, I called your Daddy to let him know that he will need to get stuff for you while you are in his care for the weekends. I am not sending you with anything like I did before. He couldn't remember what I was telling him over the phone, so after we hung up, I texted him what size you are currently wearing and what all he would need to pick up for you. I even offered to meet him at Walmart WITH you so that we can all shop for you to make sure that he would get the correct items. He declined. Apparently, Daddy is low on funds so he wouldn't be able to go shopping for you just yet. I also asked to meet Thelma. Since you will be spending time with her I wanted to meet her...but of course, your Daddy told me that I would not be able to meet her and that I would have to deal with it. He told me to "Stay out of my life take care of our daughter and leave me alone unless it's absolutely unavoideable." Unfortunately for the both of us, he gets you every other weekend...Sorry, no can do. He also text me, "Look I don't like you but we have a daughter I love so I will put up with you and that's that."
So fine...contact him only in regards to you. I left it at that.
I contacted him again a week later on Tuesday May 10. Just to ensure that he pick up the stuff so that he would be ready when he comes to pick you up on Friday.
Mommy: Do you have her stuff ready? Friday is just a few days away.
Daddy: Stop bothering me damn botch
Mommy: I'm making sure Serenity has what she needs when u get her for the weekend. How is that bother u? U say u don't have money so it makes me wonder how you gonna provide for her when she's with you.
Daddy: Stop bothering me go nag your punk ass bf if u want to nag someone aight bitch
Mommy: I need to know if I need to send stuff with her since her Daddy has no money.
Daddy: Send that car seat I bought. Or is your bitch ass dad still using it? How about sending the clothes I bought
Mommy: She doesnt fit those anymore and they were all winter clothes
Daddy: Well send my car seat and didn't I say don't talk to me? I know I did is you stupid or something?
Mommy: How bout u go buy another one. And if you don't have one don't come get her :) Have a great day
Daddy: I'll be gettin her either way. Stupid cunt
Mommy: Not without the car seat you aren't
Daddy: I got papers here that says I am with or without. Try and stop me bitch
Mommy: Gladly
Fast forward to Friday when he came to pick you up. He was 15 minutes late coming to get you. On top of that, he walked into the PoBoy shop and thought that he was going to walk out with you. Of course, I walked you to the car, and when we got to the car and he buckled you in...Your Daddy bought you the wrong car seat. He bought you a highback booster car seat that uses the car's seat belt. You are only 24 lbs...way too small for that car seat and so I told your Daddy that it's the wrong car seat. I unbuckled you and told your Daddy that he will need to get another car seat for you. He simply said, "You're not gonna let me have my child?" looks at Thelma and tells her to close the door and he drove off. He got to the end of the driveway, backed up and parked again...walked over to where we were and asked me again "You're not gonna let me have my child?" I let your father know that if he wanted to take you, he needs to get another car seat. His reply "I don't have the money." At this point, Thelma has come over as well and tries to talk to me and says that your Daddy has the court papers for him to take her today and that I should lend him my car seat and he'll have one for her next time. It amazes me how your Daddy would be so irresponsible and would want to put your life at risk with the incorrect car seat. I have been way to kind to your Daddy. And since he insisted that I was a bitch...I guess you can say I eventually became one yesterday. "You're not taking her until you get the right car seat. There's a Walmart & a Babies R Us down the street. You can get it and come back and you can take her." His response again, "I don't have the money for it." Mine, "Exchange the one you got and get the right one. You spent $300 on stuff for our daughter, but you can't spend to get the correct car seat?"This is putting YOUR life at risk.
Your Daddy is livid at this point. He's was very upset with me, and frankly, I could care less. He was so upset that he didn't even continue to talk to me. Thelma did all the talking for him. He didn't ask to use my car seat, she did. She asked me "Is it so hard to lend him your car seat? He hasn't seen her and it's been a year since he's had her." This is where I GOT aggravated. It's really been that long? So what exactly was Daddy doing to try to see you? Did he work to get the money together for the court papers? Apparently not since I got the papers done. So how is it that he loves you and cares for you so much that he did NOTHING to try to get the papers to see you? I can assure you baby girl, he DID NOT have to wait for me to get the papers filed.
Thelma tried to reason with me again to persuade me to lend him my car seat...and I explained to her the text conversation that transpired between your Daddy and I before. I OFFERED to go shopping WITH you so he can get the items AND again I OFFERED to see what he needed. Unfortunately, the only mode your Daddy knows how to deal with me is dick mode. And I let Thelma know that Ricky had an opportunity to get it right. And he refused it. And it's no longer my responsibility to get him grow some balls and man up to be a Daddy to you. If by now he can't do it, I don't know what to say.
Sure enough, he left. The look in your eyes when he left broke my heart. I know that you love your Daddy and that he and I both love you. And I promise you Serenity, THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED OUR FAMILY TO END UP....but unfortunately for us, that's the case. You asked me "Mommy, where my Daddy? I wanna go with Daddy." I assured you that he will come back and he did half an hour later with the correct car seat. This time Thelma came to get you from me and again I walked to the car. Made sure you were buckled in properly, kissed you good-bye and told you to behave for Daddy.
And off you left.
I know that you will be back to me on Sunday, but this is so hard for me. For 3 years it seemed as if I have been the fighting for you to have your Daddy in your life. He didn't even seem to care, and now the court papers are filed and just as easy as pie he gets to have you every other weekend. If he cared and loved you so much, why didn't he fight for you sooner?! I was able to get the money to make it happen...why couldn't he? There are so many thoughts going through my head, I don't even know what to say or do. I hope and pray that everything works out okay for your sake.
Waiting for you to come home to me on Sunday...
Forever & Always,
Mommy
Not your Daddy.
Odd right? He's going around saying I'm keeping you from him and not allowing him to see you...but yet I would go and spend the money to get it done so he CAN see you and so he CAN spend time with you. But then again, that's how your Daddy is.
I remember our conversations. There was one particular conversation where he told me that once I got the papers drawn up to send it to his lawyer.
Why is it, that he had his own lawyer, but yet didn't get the papers done?!
He said he misses you. Says he loves you. But yet he stalled when it came time to get the papers done. All in all it boiled down I'm guessing cause he did not have the money to get it done. Why? Cause Daddy doesn't have a job. Come to think of it...I don't think he has a job now. Hope your Daddy changes his mind really soon about the employment issue...
Anyhow...We finally get a court date. Your Daddy brings his girlfriend Thelma to court with him that day. I saw her...He didn't introduce us though. Wonder why...O_o
He didn't contest that he was your Daddy...so we came upon an agreement...he gets to see you every other weekend. And we will be revisiting the issue of child support later on this month.
Just to give you a quick background of our relationship with your Daddy...Mommy and Daddy had crossed this bridge before. There were plenty of times when I tried to make a compromise with your Daddy so that we could have a set schedule...but once again, since we could not come to an agreement. I spent MY money and got it to where the court will decide. And since I had to pay for it and not him...I am going to make sure that I get the child support money from him for you.
This is not the first arrangement your Daddy and I made. I am hoping however, that this is the one he sticks to and abides by, but we won't know how well this will last.
After our hearing, I called your Daddy to let him know that he will need to get stuff for you while you are in his care for the weekends. I am not sending you with anything like I did before. He couldn't remember what I was telling him over the phone, so after we hung up, I texted him what size you are currently wearing and what all he would need to pick up for you. I even offered to meet him at Walmart WITH you so that we can all shop for you to make sure that he would get the correct items. He declined. Apparently, Daddy is low on funds so he wouldn't be able to go shopping for you just yet. I also asked to meet Thelma. Since you will be spending time with her I wanted to meet her...but of course, your Daddy told me that I would not be able to meet her and that I would have to deal with it. He told me to "Stay out of my life take care of our daughter and leave me alone unless it's absolutely unavoideable." Unfortunately for the both of us, he gets you every other weekend...Sorry, no can do. He also text me, "Look I don't like you but we have a daughter I love so I will put up with you and that's that."
So fine...contact him only in regards to you. I left it at that.
I contacted him again a week later on Tuesday May 10. Just to ensure that he pick up the stuff so that he would be ready when he comes to pick you up on Friday.
Mommy: Do you have her stuff ready? Friday is just a few days away.
Daddy: Stop bothering me damn botch
Mommy: I'm making sure Serenity has what she needs when u get her for the weekend. How is that bother u? U say u don't have money so it makes me wonder how you gonna provide for her when she's with you.
Daddy: Stop bothering me go nag your punk ass bf if u want to nag someone aight bitch
Mommy: I need to know if I need to send stuff with her since her Daddy has no money.
Daddy: Send that car seat I bought. Or is your bitch ass dad still using it? How about sending the clothes I bought
Mommy: She doesnt fit those anymore and they were all winter clothes
Daddy: Well send my car seat and didn't I say don't talk to me? I know I did is you stupid or something?
Mommy: How bout u go buy another one. And if you don't have one don't come get her :) Have a great day
Daddy: I'll be gettin her either way. Stupid cunt
Mommy: Not without the car seat you aren't
Daddy: I got papers here that says I am with or without. Try and stop me bitch
Mommy: Gladly
Fast forward to Friday when he came to pick you up. He was 15 minutes late coming to get you. On top of that, he walked into the PoBoy shop and thought that he was going to walk out with you. Of course, I walked you to the car, and when we got to the car and he buckled you in...Your Daddy bought you the wrong car seat. He bought you a highback booster car seat that uses the car's seat belt. You are only 24 lbs...way too small for that car seat and so I told your Daddy that it's the wrong car seat. I unbuckled you and told your Daddy that he will need to get another car seat for you. He simply said, "You're not gonna let me have my child?" looks at Thelma and tells her to close the door and he drove off. He got to the end of the driveway, backed up and parked again...walked over to where we were and asked me again "You're not gonna let me have my child?" I let your father know that if he wanted to take you, he needs to get another car seat. His reply "I don't have the money." At this point, Thelma has come over as well and tries to talk to me and says that your Daddy has the court papers for him to take her today and that I should lend him my car seat and he'll have one for her next time. It amazes me how your Daddy would be so irresponsible and would want to put your life at risk with the incorrect car seat. I have been way to kind to your Daddy. And since he insisted that I was a bitch...I guess you can say I eventually became one yesterday. "You're not taking her until you get the right car seat. There's a Walmart & a Babies R Us down the street. You can get it and come back and you can take her." His response again, "I don't have the money for it." Mine, "Exchange the one you got and get the right one. You spent $300 on stuff for our daughter, but you can't spend to get the correct car seat?"This is putting YOUR life at risk.
Your Daddy is livid at this point. He's was very upset with me, and frankly, I could care less. He was so upset that he didn't even continue to talk to me. Thelma did all the talking for him. He didn't ask to use my car seat, she did. She asked me "Is it so hard to lend him your car seat? He hasn't seen her and it's been a year since he's had her." This is where I GOT aggravated. It's really been that long? So what exactly was Daddy doing to try to see you? Did he work to get the money together for the court papers? Apparently not since I got the papers done. So how is it that he loves you and cares for you so much that he did NOTHING to try to get the papers to see you? I can assure you baby girl, he DID NOT have to wait for me to get the papers filed.
Thelma tried to reason with me again to persuade me to lend him my car seat...and I explained to her the text conversation that transpired between your Daddy and I before. I OFFERED to go shopping WITH you so he can get the items AND again I OFFERED to see what he needed. Unfortunately, the only mode your Daddy knows how to deal with me is dick mode. And I let Thelma know that Ricky had an opportunity to get it right. And he refused it. And it's no longer my responsibility to get him grow some balls and man up to be a Daddy to you. If by now he can't do it, I don't know what to say.
Sure enough, he left. The look in your eyes when he left broke my heart. I know that you love your Daddy and that he and I both love you. And I promise you Serenity, THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED OUR FAMILY TO END UP....but unfortunately for us, that's the case. You asked me "Mommy, where my Daddy? I wanna go with Daddy." I assured you that he will come back and he did half an hour later with the correct car seat. This time Thelma came to get you from me and again I walked to the car. Made sure you were buckled in properly, kissed you good-bye and told you to behave for Daddy.
And off you left.
I know that you will be back to me on Sunday, but this is so hard for me. For 3 years it seemed as if I have been the fighting for you to have your Daddy in your life. He didn't even seem to care, and now the court papers are filed and just as easy as pie he gets to have you every other weekend. If he cared and loved you so much, why didn't he fight for you sooner?! I was able to get the money to make it happen...why couldn't he? There are so many thoughts going through my head, I don't even know what to say or do. I hope and pray that everything works out okay for your sake.
Waiting for you to come home to me on Sunday...
Forever & Always,
Mommy
It Only Took Me 3 Years...
Dear Serenity,
Today is the first day that you are spending with your Daddy without me. It's been almost a year since you've spent time with your Daddy without me.
I hope that you are enjoying your time and that you are well-behaved and sleeping soundly.
Hopefully when you come home Sunday, you will not be too bad to put to sleep. Daddy and I have currently come up with an agreement that he will be able to get you every other Friday 5:00 PM to Sunday 5:00 PM. After what has unfolded since court, I am very much rethinking this arrangement.
I want you to be the first to know that I have never given your Daddy any reason to talk to me like he does. I have always been the one who was left hanging while Daddy went to play with his boys. I am able to get over all the shit that Daddy put me through. One promise I made to myself and to your Daddy was that once you arrived, if he continued to choose his boys then he sure as hell did not need us. So that is one of the reasons why your Daddy and I did not last.
You deserve a Daddy who knows what your worth is.
Someone who will defeat all odds and do what he has to do to be your Daddy.
Someone who will not beat around the bush and just half ass his way through life.
You need someone who wants you at all times...Not just when he wants to be "Daddy."
There are no operating hours for Mommy mode or Daddy mode. That was one thing I had to learn really quick. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your Daddy. Maybe I was not bitch enough and allowed your Daddy to just do whatever it was he wanted to do instead of putting my foot down.
Well...I did now. Better late than never right?
I'm pretty sure that there are some people who believes that it's my fault that your Daddy did not come around to see you. I call bullshit.
I'm also pretty sure that there are people who thinks that I'm difficult because I did not "let" your Daddy see you. Again, bullshit.
It makes me wonder if the same people that believes all this knows why our family is torn to pieces.
I doubt it. And whatever it is that they do know from your Daddy...is that it's all my fault.
I wonder if they asked they every asked your Daddy how many times did he try to call you.
How many times did he try to contact you?
How many times did he do anything?
Your Daddy and I broke up in January of 2009.
Things didn't go his way, so as of August 2009 he told me that he wanted nothing to do with me.
Me or my bastard child. So, he stopped all contact with us.
This lasted to April of 2010. For 9 months, he stayed away. We didn't exist to him.
I was not going to beg your Daddy to be a part of your life. That was his own decision.
The only reason he came back into our lives was he emailed me informing that your Grandmother Nikki was moving and she wanted to see you. Your Daddy came back into our lives and became more active in your life. This lasted for two months, and when I wanted to take you to New Orleans to meet my friends, he came to Grandma's house on Thursday at 1:00 AM and banged all on the wall. Total disrespect. He told me that I am not allowed to take you to New Orleans if I did not have his blessings. Again, we fought. He told me that he had been around for 2 months and what more did I want. He was out of our lives for 9 months, and he came back for 2...I can assure you, that is not how you get the "Best Daddy Award." He left. Came back the next night and picked you up. You spent time with your Daddy that weekend. Come Sunday, I came to pick you up and another argument happened. Once again, it didn't go your Daddy's way. He got upset, started banging the walls at your Grandmother's house and scared you. He did a heck of job banging on the walls cause you couldn't even give him a hug good-bye. When I tried to get your car seat out of your Daddy's car, he locked the door to the vehicle AND locked the door to where we could not get back inside the house. That was an eventful day & evening...Since that incident, I was not going to let you stay with your Daddy without me if the court papers were not filed. Neither of us had the money to get the papers filed @ that time. 8 months went by and I was able to get the money to get the papers filed.
To be continued....
Today is the first day that you are spending with your Daddy without me. It's been almost a year since you've spent time with your Daddy without me.
I hope that you are enjoying your time and that you are well-behaved and sleeping soundly.
Hopefully when you come home Sunday, you will not be too bad to put to sleep. Daddy and I have currently come up with an agreement that he will be able to get you every other Friday 5:00 PM to Sunday 5:00 PM. After what has unfolded since court, I am very much rethinking this arrangement.
I want you to be the first to know that I have never given your Daddy any reason to talk to me like he does. I have always been the one who was left hanging while Daddy went to play with his boys. I am able to get over all the shit that Daddy put me through. One promise I made to myself and to your Daddy was that once you arrived, if he continued to choose his boys then he sure as hell did not need us. So that is one of the reasons why your Daddy and I did not last.
You deserve a Daddy who knows what your worth is.
Someone who will defeat all odds and do what he has to do to be your Daddy.
Someone who will not beat around the bush and just half ass his way through life.
You need someone who wants you at all times...Not just when he wants to be "Daddy."
There are no operating hours for Mommy mode or Daddy mode. That was one thing I had to learn really quick. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your Daddy. Maybe I was not bitch enough and allowed your Daddy to just do whatever it was he wanted to do instead of putting my foot down.
Well...I did now. Better late than never right?
I'm pretty sure that there are some people who believes that it's my fault that your Daddy did not come around to see you. I call bullshit.
I'm also pretty sure that there are people who thinks that I'm difficult because I did not "let" your Daddy see you. Again, bullshit.
It makes me wonder if the same people that believes all this knows why our family is torn to pieces.
I doubt it. And whatever it is that they do know from your Daddy...is that it's all my fault.
I wonder if they asked they every asked your Daddy how many times did he try to call you.
How many times did he try to contact you?
How many times did he do anything?
Your Daddy and I broke up in January of 2009.
Things didn't go his way, so as of August 2009 he told me that he wanted nothing to do with me.
Me or my bastard child. So, he stopped all contact with us.
This lasted to April of 2010. For 9 months, he stayed away. We didn't exist to him.
I was not going to beg your Daddy to be a part of your life. That was his own decision.
The only reason he came back into our lives was he emailed me informing that your Grandmother Nikki was moving and she wanted to see you. Your Daddy came back into our lives and became more active in your life. This lasted for two months, and when I wanted to take you to New Orleans to meet my friends, he came to Grandma's house on Thursday at 1:00 AM and banged all on the wall. Total disrespect. He told me that I am not allowed to take you to New Orleans if I did not have his blessings. Again, we fought. He told me that he had been around for 2 months and what more did I want. He was out of our lives for 9 months, and he came back for 2...I can assure you, that is not how you get the "Best Daddy Award." He left. Came back the next night and picked you up. You spent time with your Daddy that weekend. Come Sunday, I came to pick you up and another argument happened. Once again, it didn't go your Daddy's way. He got upset, started banging the walls at your Grandmother's house and scared you. He did a heck of job banging on the walls cause you couldn't even give him a hug good-bye. When I tried to get your car seat out of your Daddy's car, he locked the door to the vehicle AND locked the door to where we could not get back inside the house. That was an eventful day & evening...Since that incident, I was not going to let you stay with your Daddy without me if the court papers were not filed. Neither of us had the money to get the papers filed @ that time. 8 months went by and I was able to get the money to get the papers filed.
To be continued....
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 11:44am
Dear Serenity,
My darling baby girl. You will be proud of me.
It took me 35 months to get it done, but I did it.
After constantly fighting and arguing with your father, I did what I promised to do.
No more fighting, I took it to the courts.
I saw your father today. Looked the same like he always did. Oh, I also saw his girlfriend. Didn't talk to her though cause your father didn't care to introduce us. I figured if he wanted me to know who she was he would have introduced me. But he didn't.
We've come to an agreement as far as visitation is concerned, and I hope that as time passes by I will be better at letting you go with him. But for now, we are taking it day by day.
I hope you realize that I chose to take it to the courts because your father and I were not able to come to an agreement. And for all three of us, it was better to have the courts decide since he and I are both stubborn and hard-headed. I guess now I know where you get it from.
You're father's family has not been speaking to me ever since I served him with the paperwork.
Everyone is busy with their own lives baby girl. But that does not mean that they don't love you.
I thought that after today, I would be happy cause this would be done and over with. We will be revisiting it on May 24th and for now...I can honestly say that I have mixed emotions.
I never wanted our relationship to be taken to the courts but I was not really given a choice after our last encounter with Daddy.
I hope that when you spend time with him you are well-behaved and well-mannered.
Please don't whine too much when you don't get your way.
Please don't pout when your Daddy does not give you what you want to eat.
Please do not ask him for ice cream when you first wake up in the morning.
Don't wake up too early and cause Daddy to wake up. Your Daddy is not a morning person.
He may have changed, but for as long as I can remember, Daddy was a night owl.
Daddy loved to play peek a boo with you when you were younger. You're older now, but you still love it the same.
Be curious with your Daddy just like you are with me. Asking him "what's this?"
Snuggle up with your Daddy when you are in bed. You were with him when you were younger.
If Daddy takes you to the movies, I hope that you are not as rambunctious as you are with me.
Make sure you let Daddy know that you can feed yourself. You're a big girl.
Don't forget to tell Daddy that you gotta go "pee pee in the potty"
Do not keep asking your Daddy for sprite.
More than likely, regardless of what I ask of you I'm sure your father will spoil you.
I just hope he remembers to discipline you as well along side it.
Although he hasn't seen you since January, and even though your Aunt Crystal and your grandmother and grandfather has not seen you either...just know that does not mean they do not love you.
Interesting piece of information your father just texted me. He doesn't like me and he doesn't want me to be a part of his life. Guess what. Too bad, so sad. He's getting you every other weekend so therefore, he's gonna have to deal with me every other weekend that he has you. Remember, Mommy said you can't always get what you want and life does not always turn out the way we would like for it to.
We play the hand we are dealt and make the most of it.
Everyday when I look at you, I see your Daddy more and more.
And I see me through your actions more and more. I hope that drives your Daddy bonkers :D
Just remember. No matter where you are. No matter who you are with. Both your Mommy and Daddy loves you very much. Moon adores you as well, and so does Zoe.
I'm sure that when Daddy's girlfriend meets you, she will come to love you just as much as we do.
I hope that you do not rebel against Moon because he is not Daddy and I hope that you will not do the same toward Daddy's girlfriend because she is not Mommy.
Everyone has the right to be happy.
I can't speak for your Daddy, but at one point in time I was happy with your Daddy.
I can't say that Daddy was happy with me, but apparently if he was...he's not right now...oops.
Moon came into our lives at just the right time.
And I could not be happier. Now if everything with your Daddy gets settled, I will be that much more happier. I hope that as time goes by, your Daddy and I will be friends like we were before he became a bitter ex-boyfriend. For your sake, just know that not all relationships end up with broken hearts.
Mommy kissed her frog and found her prince. I know one day you will too.
And hopefully your Daddy will turn in the that prince for that special princess one day too.
Just know that we will always always always love you :)
Dear Serenity,
My darling baby girl. You will be proud of me.
It took me 35 months to get it done, but I did it.
After constantly fighting and arguing with your father, I did what I promised to do.
No more fighting, I took it to the courts.
I saw your father today. Looked the same like he always did. Oh, I also saw his girlfriend. Didn't talk to her though cause your father didn't care to introduce us. I figured if he wanted me to know who she was he would have introduced me. But he didn't.
We've come to an agreement as far as visitation is concerned, and I hope that as time passes by I will be better at letting you go with him. But for now, we are taking it day by day.
I hope you realize that I chose to take it to the courts because your father and I were not able to come to an agreement. And for all three of us, it was better to have the courts decide since he and I are both stubborn and hard-headed. I guess now I know where you get it from.
You're father's family has not been speaking to me ever since I served him with the paperwork.
Everyone is busy with their own lives baby girl. But that does not mean that they don't love you.
I thought that after today, I would be happy cause this would be done and over with. We will be revisiting it on May 24th and for now...I can honestly say that I have mixed emotions.
I never wanted our relationship to be taken to the courts but I was not really given a choice after our last encounter with Daddy.
I hope that when you spend time with him you are well-behaved and well-mannered.
Please don't whine too much when you don't get your way.
Please don't pout when your Daddy does not give you what you want to eat.
Please do not ask him for ice cream when you first wake up in the morning.
Don't wake up too early and cause Daddy to wake up. Your Daddy is not a morning person.
He may have changed, but for as long as I can remember, Daddy was a night owl.
Daddy loved to play peek a boo with you when you were younger. You're older now, but you still love it the same.
Be curious with your Daddy just like you are with me. Asking him "what's this?"
Snuggle up with your Daddy when you are in bed. You were with him when you were younger.
If Daddy takes you to the movies, I hope that you are not as rambunctious as you are with me.
Make sure you let Daddy know that you can feed yourself. You're a big girl.
Don't forget to tell Daddy that you gotta go "pee pee in the potty"
Do not keep asking your Daddy for sprite.
More than likely, regardless of what I ask of you I'm sure your father will spoil you.
I just hope he remembers to discipline you as well along side it.
Although he hasn't seen you since January, and even though your Aunt Crystal and your grandmother and grandfather has not seen you either...just know that does not mean they do not love you.
Interesting piece of information your father just texted me. He doesn't like me and he doesn't want me to be a part of his life. Guess what. Too bad, so sad. He's getting you every other weekend so therefore, he's gonna have to deal with me every other weekend that he has you. Remember, Mommy said you can't always get what you want and life does not always turn out the way we would like for it to.
We play the hand we are dealt and make the most of it.
Everyday when I look at you, I see your Daddy more and more.
And I see me through your actions more and more. I hope that drives your Daddy bonkers :D
Just remember. No matter where you are. No matter who you are with. Both your Mommy and Daddy loves you very much. Moon adores you as well, and so does Zoe.
I'm sure that when Daddy's girlfriend meets you, she will come to love you just as much as we do.
I hope that you do not rebel against Moon because he is not Daddy and I hope that you will not do the same toward Daddy's girlfriend because she is not Mommy.
Everyone has the right to be happy.
I can't speak for your Daddy, but at one point in time I was happy with your Daddy.
I can't say that Daddy was happy with me, but apparently if he was...he's not right now...oops.
Moon came into our lives at just the right time.
And I could not be happier. Now if everything with your Daddy gets settled, I will be that much more happier. I hope that as time goes by, your Daddy and I will be friends like we were before he became a bitter ex-boyfriend. For your sake, just know that not all relationships end up with broken hearts.
Mommy kissed her frog and found her prince. I know one day you will too.
And hopefully your Daddy will turn in the that prince for that special princess one day too.
Just know that we will always always always love you :)
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