Saturday, February 21, 2009

Valentine Photos Dont really know what all to reveal on here anymore... but here are some pictures of Serenity's first Valentines....She's my little diva...and apparently she doesnt want any of my kisses :(

They All Mean Well...

Monday January 19, 2009

They All Mean Well...

As of last Tuesday, I made a decision that many believed was long overdue.

I let him go. 

Someone asked me if he loved me.

Sadly, I dont know the answer to that.

Then they asked me if he loved her.

And in my heart I want to say yes...

but I can't help but wonder.

Actions speak louder than words...and his actions and words never match up.

If you love something let it go.  And I did.

I did it because I wasn't happy.  Now that it's done, I'm still not happy.

I guess in life we can't all be happy....

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Just Some Holiday Photos & Update 7 months ago I gave birth to Serenity and my life changed forever. Not quite sure if it changed for the better, but becoming a mommy has definitely changed my life. There are so many time that I sit and wonder... WHAT IF. What if this. What if that. What if everything. I can honestly say that there are many things in my life that I second guess on and at the same time I don't ever regret doing any of it.  Even to this day...if  I had done things differently, the one thing that means everything to me now wouldn't even be a part of my life.  I wouldn't have Serenity. But I DO have her. And she's my life & so much more. There are many people who wonder why I am still with Ricky.  And honestly, it's does not matter why I'm still with Ricky. He's not with them. He's with me.  If these people care than they should understand than they would support the decision I make.  And right now, that decision is Ricky.  He may not be the best boyfriend there is, but as long as I know he's making an effort, that's all that matters.  Not only that, but he does love Serenity and he does what he can for her.  And I am very grateful.  There are some guys who has babies and does not even care about them.  I'm lucky to have Ricky be a part of my life.  Thanks to him, I have my baby girl.  I will forever be grateful for that and if no one can understand why, than they truly are not my friend. Yes I do cry when I feel that he's disregarded many of things I've spoken with him about, but if I was with someone else that's not a guarantee that the next guy wont make me cry. I don't know what the future will bring but on the same note, no one really does. These people claim that they are worried about me and that's the only reason why they keep repeating the same thing over to me.  It amazes me how hypocritical some people can be. *sigh* What difference does it make if I'm with Ricky or not? I'm happy & content. I don't need to make millions of dollars and get braces so that I look better.  I'm not trying to impress anyone with my looks, and if some guy does like because of my looks. than he's not worth being with.  I don't get why so many people are so set on me getting braces.  If I don't care for it, why would they?  I may not be as pretty as the next person, but looks are everything.  I see so many people that went from ugly duckling to a swan...and frankly, when they were an ugly duckling, they were a better person.  I don't know.  Maybe that's just me. Serenity got to celebrate her first Christmas.  We didn't take any pictures on New Year's so sorry. Hey, at least I got the Christmas pictures though :) Christmas morning. She's already got bedhead...I love the look on her face in this picture. Christmas afternoon & evening @ auntie's house.  She's the best present I ever received...She just came six & a half months early...good timing Ricky! LoL                    And this was in the late evening with Daddy.  She's starting to stand :( She's growing up so quick *sigh* New Year's Resolutions: Budget... Scrapbook More... Be happy. 1 out of three ain't bad so far,,,LoL Well, I'm off to bed.  Happy late New Year's!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Weekend Agenda with Serenity 10:00 AM - Rise & shine with a smile on her face.  Take a bath, change the diaper, dress the baby, and pack the diaper bag 10:30 AM - Out the door and on the way to Wally World to pick up groceries. 11:30 AM - At Grandma's watching tv and playing with the duckies 12:30 PM - Meet up with co-workers to eat lunch @ Chili's 2:30 PM - Back at home...Feed the baby & play time 3:30 PM - Naptime 4:45 PM - Something is bothering Serenity...non-stop crying :( 5:45 PM - On the way to Daddys 6:00 PM - Arrive @ Daddys 7:45 PM - Feeding baby cereal and giving her some water 8:30 PM - Serenity is watching me on the computer and next thing you know...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

It's So Rewarding... It's been a little over 5 months now since Serenity has physically entered my life and I'm still in disbelief at times that I'm a mommy.  I can't even begin to explain the feeling that I have when I'm with Serenity.  Although at times she wakes me up earlier than I'm used to, but it's okay.  She has this sly smile and it's so adorable, I can't be mad at her no matter what time of the hour she wakes me up. She's sick now.  She's been having congestion and a fever broke out...the babysitter gave her some motrin & tylenol and I hope that fever stays away.  Luckily I was able to request off for today to take her to the doctor.  I know that they don't really prescribe anything for babies, but I'm afraid it might be some type of virus in her system and I don't want to risk that.  It's new mommy syndrome.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Totally Overdue... It's now been five months & honestly, I still haven't really gotten the hang of this mommy thing.  I still got a lot to learn.  It sucks cause there's only so much you can handle.  Serenity seems to coming down with a cold or something lik that.  Nose is all stuffy, she's been coughing and everything.  These are pictures that were taken from June to just recently.  Well, off to bed. Be back to update later.

That Ain’t Love

Aug 5, 2008

That Ain’t Love

[Evonne:]
Myxx,
Yea.

[Liz:]
Trippin' on ya,
Flippin' on ya,
Makin' you cry,
Girl that ain't love at all.

[Evonne:]
10-23

[Liz:]
Girl that ain't love at all
Oohhh, oooh, yea.

[Evonne:]
Yea, yea Check it.

[Liz:]
You already know he's been acting funny.
He's never available and he's not returning.
It's all the phone calls or text messages,
He's taking your kindness for granted.
Like when you both are lonely, nothing wrong at all.
But in the open he acts like a superstar,
Pretending that he don't know who you are.
And babygirl, that ain't love at all.

[Chorus:]
Don't you waste your time.
Being a fool for him,
Girl he ain't worth it.
And if your heart is hurting,
Cuz you're the only one who cares,
That ain't love at all.
Girl you better leave,
That ain't the way it's supposed to be.
Ohhhhh, you should know you better than that,
You can do better than that yea.
Something ain't right.
You're giving your best,
And he's taking advantage,
Of your heart.
Ohhh, and girl that ain't love at all.

[Liz:]
Now let me guess he puts it all on you,
Says you're fussing over nothing and you act a fool.
Why couldn't you be a little less insecure, baby.
He said, he said, he doesn't answer cuz he's at work.
He ain't actin' brand new, you're just on his nerves.
If everytime you turn around, it's you,
Then I'm telling you, baby.

[Chorus:]
Don't you waste your time.
Being a fool for him, (Being a fool for him, cuz girl he ain't worth it)
Girl he ain't worth it.
And if your heart is hurting,
Cuz you're the only one who cares,
That ain't love at all. (That ain't love at all)
Girl you better leave,
That ain't the way it's supposed to be.
Ohhhhh, you should know you better than that,(Ohh, better girl, you're better than that)
You can do better than that yea.
Something ain't right. (It ain't right)
You're giving your best,
And he's taking advantage, (He's taking advantage)
Of your heart.
Ohhh, and girl that ain't love at all.

[Evonne:]
Uh, uh, yea,
You causin' shivers down my spine,
And now I cry, cuz I know I have to say goodbye.
Been holding on so long,
I don't want to leave you... why?
I don't believe in love,
Cuz I still don't have you, I try.
And yea you say the sweetest things,
But it's all behind doors,
And when you look in my eyes,
It's like you see through my cores,
My heart's attacked by the things you say,
My body's numb.
You're love is like last year...
It's over, it's done.
This song somehow sums up our relationship. Maybe it wasn't love at all