Dear Serenity. Mommy Loves You!

Sunday March 23, 2009

Dear Serenity. Mommy Loves You!

Today your father made his decision. 
And today starts off a new beginning for you and I.
I don't know why he says the things he says, but I'm very sure the reason why he does is because of me.

Do not think for one moment that all this is because of you.
It's because of me and it's because of him.
You are not the reason why any of this is happening.

I want you to know that I love you.
Not only that but you have plenty of others that love you and care for you as well even if the one that should does not. 
You will never grow up alone because I will be by your side.

No one can say it like he did.
You don't need him.
And in a sense I guess he's right. 
I don't need him either.
I have you.
You have me.

I will always love you baby girl.

Hugs & Kisses,
Your Mommy

KTN

Sunday, March 01, 2009

9 months...that is how long it has been since Serenity has graced us with her presence. And for 9 months now I've been taking buku photos. Yesterday we went to Portrait Innovations & we took pictures. Here are a few of them... Although things between Ricky and I are not where I had hoped for it to be, I'm happy with my decision. For the first time in 8 years, I'm single.  In 2001 I met Toan...We were together for a few and we broke up....After Toan I was with Michael...that lasted a little under a year and then I met Nhat at Julie's wedding.  After 2 1/2 years of another long distance relationship I met Ricky.  Just like any new relationship we were happy together and there were no arguments...he talked I listened, I talked he listened...and then as the months went on it got worse.  And then I found out I was pregnant. And that was basically where my journey begins.  9 months of up and down...and she's here...I wouldn't change it for the world. On the otherhand with my relationship with her father...it got to the point where I felt that I deserved to be treated better.  Every guy is capable of being an asshole and every girl is capable of being a bitch...but when it came to the point when the guy is an ass cause she's a bitch and vice versa...that relationship has ended.  Neither of us was willing compromise so it was better off just ending it. I will always love Ricky because he is Serenity's father but as far as a boyfriend, I just didn't feel like having to cry every other day.  For once in 9 months, I'm single and focusing on Serenity and making myself happy without a special someone. Of course it gets lonely and I miss the late night cuddle sessions and or late night phone sessions...but I know that one day...my prince will come.  By that time I will be happy with being by myself and enjoying life with just Serenity...My prince will be an added bonus... Okay well off to watch the baby.