You are officially a Kindergartener!

Dear Serenity,

Congratulations my love!

Welcome to the beginning of a 13 year journey.  Then after that depending on what career you wish to pursue, that could be additional years added on. Don't say I never warned you. 

Look at how cute you look! I didn't have a printer to print out the chalkboard sign, so I just downloaded it and screen shot it with your Ipad.  How do you like that for being green?!? LoL

Let's see...how would I summarize your first two weeks of school?  We had open house on 08.27.2013.  Surprisingly, your teacher, Miss. Laura Vance told me that you barely talk in class.
Let me tell you...that was a HUGE shocker for me.  You talk ALL THE TIME at home. To tell you the truth that was one of my biggest concerns...I was afraid the teacher would have me on speed dial the entire day while you were in class.  You seem to get a long with everyone in class so I'm very grateful for that. And, we have a deal as well.  If you receive purple smiley faces for the week, then you get to pick out a toy! You had a green one on Monday of last week, but thats okay.  It's still good.  Just don't go anywhere below green and you and I will be okay.  No time outs and no taking away your Ipad. 

You have started learning your letters.  This year that whole common core stuff is launching.  You don't have it easy in kindergarten like Mommy did.  All I ever did in kindergarten was cut, color, paste, and NAPTIME.  They took that away now.  No more naptime.  Maybe that's why when you get home you knock out so early!

See, this is what you look like after school.  It's okay. I still think you're a cutie!

I have your daily schedule too! Oh, and you're taking French! Why? I have no idea...but that's one of your ancillaries they have you doing.
You are not riding the bus to and from school...I drop you off and pick you up.  I get you to wake up for 7:00 AM. 7:15 AM at the latest. You are normally done changing and whining by 7:30 AM to be at the kitchen table for breakfast.  While you eat breakfast, I take care of your lunch and by 7:50 AM - 8:00 AM we are headed out the door.  Drop you off at school by 8:15AM (at the latest) and then off to work I go.  I can't leave work earlier to come get you for when school is out at 3:30 PM so you are there in after school day care.  I get you approximately at 5:00 PM. 
$60 a week and I have to have you picked up by 5:30 PM, I do believe I've got our schedule figured out.
You don't eat lunch at school, I pack your lunch. A lot of people seems to think I'm depriving you of the school lunches, but of course they don't know how you are when it comes to eating.
You love to take your time eating. For whatever the reason, you do.  And if you eat the school lunches, then I will not be able to monitor how much of it you it.  Now on the other hand, packing your lunch, I am able to know how much of it you eat during school.  And lately, you've been doing a very good job eating all of your lunch.
Your lunch mainly consists of peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cold cut pinwheels, and some fruits and veggies.
Instead of a boring old lunch, I've been using a Hello Kitty bento box. 
Today I just got some more supplies to make more sandwich shapes!  I'm so excited! I think I'm more excited about packing your lunch than you are at seeing the different shapes in your lunch!
Whatever you don't finish at lunch time, I make you finish when I pick you up.  After school snack and lunch in one! Go me! My brain works sometimes. Lol!
I have a parent - teacher conference at 7:30 AM on the 24th of September. You will need to remind me that I have that conference with your teacher.
This is a start of a new adventure for us Princess.  Please know I am doing my best when it comes to you.
Oh yes! Before I forget, Aunt Emaly has you signed up for swimming lessons this month at the YMCA.  Thank her when you see her.  Now if only I can figure out where the dang YMCA she signed you up for is located...we'd be good to go! I have two days. I'll figure it out.
But as I was saying...Being a parent never came with a manual. And even if it did I'd probably wouldn't have read it.  So it's one of those "play by ear" type experiences. Just know that no matter what may happen...I will never stop loving you.

Hugs and kisses Princess,
Mommy

Guardian Angel

Dear Serenity,

It's now almost a month since your Aunt Crystal has passed. 
Honestly I'm still in shock that shes no longer going to be around.  She won't be texting me and asking me how you are or even posting on Facebook anymore about how she misses you and how she can't wait to see you again. Most of all, she is no longer here for Nanu or for Ricky. 
Life and death.  How do I even begin to explain it to you?
At five years old, I can't even imagine what or how your mind will process facts about life and death.
When you are older and know more, I will explain further in details.

July 27, 2013 Ricky skyped with you.  He asked if we can go to Houston next weekend. Kinda odd cause we were planning on going the next day already so that kind of surprised me with that request.So I inquired why should we go next weekend and that's when he broke the news.  Your Aunt Crystal passed on Friday.  Ricky was making plans to fly back for the funeral.
So the next day we headed to Houston.  Checked in the room and dropped you off with Nanu.  You seemed to enjoy your time with her and that's great.  You had no hesitation in staying with her.  We picked you up on Monday afternoon, did some shopping and headed home.

August 2, 2013 We left Baton Rouge and headed back to Houston for you to attend your Aunt's funeral.  Originally, the funeral was going to be held in Iowa, but Nanu decided to have it in Houston instead.  We took the 4 hour drive and got to Houston around 6 o'clock for the wake.  The moment we arrived, there were already guests there at the funeral home.  You walked in and EVERYONE knew who you were.  That's how much Aunt Crystal spoke of you.  You're spunk and sassy personality, you seemed to remind everyone of Crystal in one way or another.  Every time she saw you she'd say the same thing, "You're sassy just like Auntie Crystal."  In her eyes, you were a mini version of her.

August 3, 2013 The funeral.  You sat through the funeral like a good girl should.   When the time came to say good-bye, Ricky took you to see Crystal.  (Mommy doesn't do well at funerals, but of course it's never a good-bye. Just see you later.) At the end of the service, you were right beside Ricky.  I can see you saw how everyone was hurting and you fed off of their feelings.  When someone came up to hug Ricky, you joined in on the hug too. Your little arm wrapped around them and you held up like a little big girl should. 

Ricky and I always talked about making plans on you meeting Ricky's side of the family.  Never in a million years did I think that THIS would be the way you would meet them.

She touched a lot of people's lives Serenity, and I hope that one day you have the same impact on people as she did.  When she walked into a room, her smile and laugh was quite contagious.  She was a trip when she'd drink.  Those were some memorable moments.  Just know now you have a guardian angel looking over you.

Hugs and kisses,
Mommy

Although It Didn't Work Out Between Us

Dear Serenity,

Tonight, you got to see Ricky, Thelma, and Temperance.  Your first time seeing your baby sister.  I can't help be see you in her.  I bet it's Ricky's eyes.  You weren't on your best behavior, but I hope that Ricky will keep up these calls with you.  Not quite sure how often he will be able to see you, but I'm hoping it gets more often.  It didn't work out between us, but as I've stated before to you...our love for you will never diminish.  If anything, that is the one thing we have in common. 

It's been almost 2 years since you've actually had steady time with Ricky.  I'm not sure how much of Ricky you remember, but I know that you have not forgotten who he is.  I remembered when we first finished with the court proceedings.  That first weekend with Ricky when it was time for him to drop you off, you cried so much.  As the weeks passed, you didn't cry anymore.  It became routine. And eventually you would see Ricky and get excited, and when it came time to come home to me you hugged and kissed him and waited again. 

In the past 2 years you've grown so much.  Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for having you in my life.  One of the most popular questions everyone seems to ask me is if I could have changed anything about my past, would I.  Without any hesitation, I tell them there's nothing I would change.  Why? Because if my past was changed, I wouldn't have you. 

I'm sorry I'm working so much.  8-12 hour shifts, 6 days a week...Doesn't really leave much time for mommy daughter bonding.  But I promise you that one day Mommy will be at home with you.  Just a little bit longer and I will be finished with my Master's degree.  Once I get that teaching position, Mommy will get to spend more time with you.  Struggle now for a greater gain in the long run, right baby girl? 

I'm so excited that you are starting school in the fall!  We have less than 2 months left... August 12 you will be starting Kindergarten!!! I'm looking forward to going school supply shopping with you!
Then there's also the bus rides...still not sure if you will be riding the bus yet, but we will see...I'm sure Grandpa will be dropping off and picking you up.  That's something to look forward too this year, isn't it??? 

Oh yes, you received your birthday card from Ricky.  We now know that mail from New Zealand takes roughly 3 weeks to get to us. 
I would send something back to Ricky, but he didn't leave a return address for me to send it that way...Maybe next time...

Sweet dreams my princess,

Mommy

Happy 5th Birthday Baby Girl!

Dear Serenity,

Do you realize that 5 years ago you turned my world upside down?

And for that I thank you with all of my heart.

I heard your heartbeat and instantly fell in love with you.

Today you are no longer a baby.

You, have turned into a lovely young lady.

For the past five years I've watched you stumble and fall.

And each time you've gotten up...cried out loud...shed a few tears...and then went about your business.

You ran before you walked. That was one of the best mommy moments in my life.

Even now you surprise me.

No matter how old you get...I will always love you.

And you will always be my baby girl.

When you came into my life,

I realized that my happiness lies within you.

You hold a piece of my heart that no one will never be able to grasp.

You are my heart.

You came into my life when I needed a shining light.

Life for us is not easy, is it baby girl?

And I'm not going to lie to you either.

It probably won't get easier.  At least not anytime soon.

When I found out I would have you in my life,

I prayed.

I pray that I would a friend and mother in the times you would need me most.

I pray that I would be able to provide for you when no one else would.

I pray that you know how much you are loved each and every day.

Your smiles brighten my day.

Your laughs bring me joy.

Your tears bring me pain.

Your show of concern lets me know that you have a caring heart.

and I know that I am raising you on the right path.

The more I look at you...the less I see myself and Ricky.

I begin to see you.

A young, bright, spunky, rambunctious, baby girl.

Anyone who have met you have done nothing but love you.

No one knows what my heart feels like but you.

Today, you are no longer a baby.

Today you grow into the young lady that I know you can be.

This year you start school in the fall.

It will be a lot of adjustments around our household.

No matter what may change just know that my love of you will never change.

It's only been 5 years, and my life has been filled with much happiness and joy.

I can only imagine how much more happiness and joy will enter my life...all because of you.

I love you.

Forever and always,

Mommy

Throwback August 2009

Wish you would stay young forever...
Spending time with Daddy

Kay & Serenity :) | Myspace Video

April 07, 2009 You're Standing!!!!

Serenity Standing

Kay & Serenity :) | Myspace Video

Congratulations You're a Little..erm Big.....

Dear Serenity,

With just 14 days into the new year and so far it's been a pretty exciting year for you huh baby girl?
We totally rung in the new year with style...hopefully next year it will be bigger!
All in all you have gotten a second daddy, big sister, and little sister...all within a few months time.  So you went from being an only child, to a little sister, and now a big sister...you are now officially a "middle child."

Ricky and Thelma delivered your baby sister...seeing her baby pictures reminded me of when I had you.  She really looks like you too.  The face and the hair mainly. You both look like Ricky. He hasn't forgotten about you. And as much as Ricky and I are at ends with one another, I know he will always love you.  At least that's all I can hope for.  I sent our congratulations to him, and he's received it. But hasn't responded. Maybe it's better that way.  Your Nanu has been in your life, just as your Auntie Crystal has been.  Who knows...maybe in the future Ricky will be in your life more. Until the future though, just know you have me.
*****
I started this post after I found out that your little sister arrived...But now it's roughly 2 weeks after and I have yet to find the words to finish this post. 

What is there for me to say?  I can only hope for the best.
No matter what or who may enter into our lives, nothing will change the fact that I love you.

Forever and always,
Mommy