Dear Serenity,
I woke up last Saturday morning and my phone was ringing. I answered it and you were on the phone.
You told me wanted to come home.
The night before I called to make sure you took your medicine, you also told me you wanted to come home.
Apparently, you telling that to Ricky is hurting his feelings. Amazes me though. Last I checked, your father is 2 months younger than I am and therefore makes him 23 years older than you...but yet he can't get the concept that at the age of 3 sometimes, you need to be told what to do or what is going to happen?! He told me that he does not want to be a "dictator." In my book, it's called parenting. I guess Ricky has yet to figure that out yet...after 3 years I would have hoped he would have figured something out. I was wrong. At least in that aspect.
I posted before that Thelma and I had a conversation in which Ricky has a habit of going back to his old ways when things does not go the way HE want and 2 weeks ago...history repeated itself. Apparently you told Ricky and Thelma you hated them. Which oddly enough you tell me that when you are upset with me. So what did Ricky do? He packed up ALL the stuff he had for you and drove you home. Literally pulled up to the driveway, popped the trunk and unloaded your things. And wanna know what he said when he was done? "She's no daughter of mine. I'll pay for her, but I don't want to see her anymore." Does it surprise me? No.
What did surprise me was the fact that he packed up ALL your stuff and drove you home. What was more surprising? He only had 3 shirts for you! You had more toys than clothes...Of course, I guess you being over there for a total of 5 days out of the month is not a need for much clothes.
Like a big girl, you did not cry. You did ask for him though. And Thelma too. But you did not cry. I waited a bit before I contacted Ricky. To make sure that this is what he truly wanted in regards to no longer seeing you. His response was "Want who? It's just another bill to me. I'll give you the money for it Monday." Of course after a few days went by he texted to ask how you were doing. Told me that he got a job out of state making $6/hour. Which I find that hard to believe when minimum wage is $7.25/hour...but whatever. Oddly enough, Ricky is under court order to advise either me or the lawyer if he gets a job, so when I asked him if he was going to give the information, he replied to come find him. Why is it that he's also responsible for you but can't man up to help with you? And he jokes around like this? That clearly shows me that he truly does not care. Cause if he did, he would have done whatever he could to do right for you. It does baffles me though, he has no job and yet still manages to pay his bills. From what I know no one is helping him but one person, Thelma. I'll let people draw whatever conclusion they feel they may need to draw in regards to that.
Now that I think back about it. Him packing up all your stuff...he told me that he spent $300 for that first weekend you were to spend with him. Out of that $300 he couldn't even buy you the correct carseat....what in the world did he buy you?! It was sure as heck not the toys he dropped off here when he brought you home. All those toys were stuffed animals you win at the crane game or stuff people gave him or something.
So many thoughts are going through my mind...and I have no idea what to do or even what to say.
I guess it is meant for another day....
Forever and always,
Mommy
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