Dear Serenity,
Congratulations baby girl. You are going to have a stepmother!
Seems as if Ricky proposed to Thelma, and I for one am very happy for them.
I hope that they have a lifetime of love and happiness and many many years of wedded bliss :)
Maybe now you'll get a younger brother or sister!
This Christmas started on Christmas Eve for you. We went to visit Nanu on Saturday. She's hoping that she can come back once a month and spend time with you. I guess since Ricky is not here, you will be spending that time with Nanu. You need to spend time with Ricky's side of the family too. That way you can see how much you are loved. After that we stayed the night at auntie Mommy and Daddy Martin's house and Christmas morning, we opened presents. You were so excited. It was great seeing how enthusiastic you were about the presents. And for the most part of the day you were very well behaved.
I hope that Ricky is not upset with me for not responding to any of his messages...well he sent about 4. But still. Mommy's phone was not charged since last night. I didn't have my car charger so when it died, I was in no rush to getting it charged up either. So for the first time ever, I went the majority of the day free of a cell phone. Kinda makes me feel out of the loop but at the same time it was so free. I was not constantly checking on facebook or texting...I was just spending time with the family. It was a joyous holiday, and I would not change anything in the world...I even got to see my cousins and aunt and uncle from France. They flew into town tonight and apparently all my aunts and uncles seem to think that I look like her. When I saw her, I just saw glasses that would cause them to think that way...but who knows.
Christmas and New Years was fun and exciting. You got a kitchen set, a vanity set, and a puzzle set. I was very excited about the kitchen set! I think I was more excited about than you were! But it's okay. You enjoy it and you get to play with it. I'm happy.
I just want you to know that I am doing my best to try and make everything okay for the both of us.
It's hard cause you and Daddy Moon are constantly fighting against each other. Not only that but I am the one that happens to be the bad person. Daddy Moon has his own way of disciplining you and I have my own way. Those disciplining ways are totally opposites. And now it's getting to the point where part of that is a burden on Daddy Moon and me. Is it your fault? Absolutely not. But there are times when I do wonder why you act the way you do when I am around. When I am not around, everyone tells me you are an angel. But when I am, you turn into this whiny, sass talking baby! (no pun intended). Maybe if I was not in such a debt crisis I wouldn't be working the hours I am working. Maybe if Ricky helped and sent money to help with you it would be less stressful on me. But the debt has been incurred and Ricky is not capable of helping yet. So what can I do? I'm at a loss for what to do and what not to do. I have cut back on spending...and I have been frugal to the point that I am comfortable with. Do I need to be come even more frugal and to the extreme? On top of all the debt that I have I am helping Grandma and Grandpa with some of the house bills too. So what can I do? I'm at a loss and I don't know what to do.
There is one thing I want you to know. No matter the reason of why Mommy is stressed out. It will never change the fact that I love you with all of my heart. And I hope as you grow up you will start to understand that when you do something wrong or disrespectful and uncalled for, there are consequences. Whether its sitting in the time out corner or even a good spanking. If you are bad, you will be disciplined. I know that I stick up for you often, but what everyone fails to realize is that when the time comes, I do discipline you. It's a shame that just because I don't do it at the time they expect for me to do it...does not mean it's not done.
You are currently slumbering next to me. Ricky was supposed to text me this evening so that you can skype. That never happened cause I never got a text. I'm sure we'll squeeze in some skype time with Ricky some time this week. I know you miss you and he misses you. Everything happens for a reason.
Forever and always loving you,
Mommy
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Just Because He is Not Here, Does Not Mean He Does Not Love You
Dear Serenity,
This past weekend was your weekend with Ricky. Unfortunately he is not here. I don't know when he will be back but I hope that all goes well for him and his future endeavors. He has left to make sure he is capable of taking care of you later on and I know that he will do all that he can to do what he needs to do to make it happen. He is with Aunt Crystal now and will be there for awhile. He came to see you before he left and spent a few hours with you. Told Mommy that I was doing a great job and gave me some tips in disciplining you so that you don't get too out of hand. I love seeing you enjoy your time with Ricky. He started to tear up and I know that this is not what anyone would have wanted, but I do feel that this was the best thing that could happen to Ricky.
I just hope that he keeps in touch with us. I will be documenting along the way what he is missing. I hope that once he gets to where he is planning on settling. That way we can send him care packages of all that you have been doing.
I do want you to know that whether it is Ricky or I that is not by your side, that does not mean that we do not love you any less. If anything it means that we love you more.
For the past 3 years that you have entered our lives, I never realized how much someone so small could have such and impact on my life. And for that I will always and forever be thankful to you. You are my light. You are the reason why I push and strive to do so much. Just like many parents' wishes for their children, an easy life. As everyday passes you amaze me more and more.
You are steadily growing bigger and getting more and more beautiful. There was a quote I found that I think describes how I feel for you.
And still to this day, you have never left.
There are some things I want to let you know.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
For the 1st Time Ever...
Dear Serenity,
For the first time EVER, you will be going with Ricky and Thelma to Texas to visit your grandmother and Aunt Crystal. They have not seen you for a few years, and Ricky asked me if he could take you to spend some time with his family. I hope that you do not forget about me while you are there.
Daddy Moon and I dropped you off last night at your father's apartment. It was heartbreaking to leave knowing that for the next 5 days I will not be able to see your smiling face. It is even more heartbreaking to know that you will be traveling and on the road for the first time with Ricky. I know that he will take great care of you, but I still cannot drop this feeling of my heart sinking. Ricky is Ricky. What can I say. Since you will be celebrating Thanksgiving with him (with extra days...) I get you for Christmas ^_^ Ricky and I will have to think of a time for you to spend with him for Christmas as well...that way he does not misses you too much.
I guess in a sense, Ricky and I are in a "civil relationship." Somewhere along the lines if it pertains to you we will talk about it. I'm thankful for that.
I hope that you enjoyed your car trip. I know that you can do it because we went to Houston before. Just a few months ago for your Aunt Emaly & Uncle Tommy's wedding. You were great!
So it's about 7 months away till your 4th birthday. I would like to throw a themed birthday party. I have some tricks up my sleeve so hopefully it will work out well for all of us.
Mommy misses you Serenity.
Hope you are having a great time with Ricky's side of the family.
I am anxiously waiting for you to come home!!!
Forever and always,
Mommy
Update @ 4:30 PM CST:
I have just called Ricky twice and texted him as well as your grandmother and your aunt.
Glad that you are all having your reunion but I know I made it very clear with Ricky that he was to answer or reply to the text when I contacted you. He could have responded to let me know that you guys made it there, and I have not gotten any responses yet. I had one simple request and that was to answer my call or reply to my text.
For the first time EVER, you will be going with Ricky and Thelma to Texas to visit your grandmother and Aunt Crystal. They have not seen you for a few years, and Ricky asked me if he could take you to spend some time with his family. I hope that you do not forget about me while you are there.
Daddy Moon and I dropped you off last night at your father's apartment. It was heartbreaking to leave knowing that for the next 5 days I will not be able to see your smiling face. It is even more heartbreaking to know that you will be traveling and on the road for the first time with Ricky. I know that he will take great care of you, but I still cannot drop this feeling of my heart sinking. Ricky is Ricky. What can I say. Since you will be celebrating Thanksgiving with him (with extra days...) I get you for Christmas ^_^ Ricky and I will have to think of a time for you to spend with him for Christmas as well...that way he does not misses you too much.
I guess in a sense, Ricky and I are in a "civil relationship." Somewhere along the lines if it pertains to you we will talk about it. I'm thankful for that.
I hope that you enjoyed your car trip. I know that you can do it because we went to Houston before. Just a few months ago for your Aunt Emaly & Uncle Tommy's wedding. You were great!
So it's about 7 months away till your 4th birthday. I would like to throw a themed birthday party. I have some tricks up my sleeve so hopefully it will work out well for all of us.
Mommy misses you Serenity.
Hope you are having a great time with Ricky's side of the family.
I am anxiously waiting for you to come home!!!
Forever and always,
Mommy
Update @ 4:30 PM CST:
I have just called Ricky twice and texted him as well as your grandmother and your aunt.
Glad that you are all having your reunion but I know I made it very clear with Ricky that he was to answer or reply to the text when I contacted you. He could have responded to let me know that you guys made it there, and I have not gotten any responses yet. I had one simple request and that was to answer my call or reply to my text.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
1st Month Memories
So Mommy was going through some files on the computer and I happen to find some videos of you when you were just born. I can't believe at one point you were THAT little! It's been 3 and half years and you are growing up more and more lovely by the day.
Halloween had just past and you were as cute as ever in your princess costume. Ricky came along with us to go trick-or-treating...which amazingly we had a good time. At least I did. You enjoyed it as well too. Ms. Carla and Mr. Johnny came over with Jayla and Zoe was there too. Ms. Anna came over with her son and her niece and nephew. All in all it was a good crowd we went with. Thelma came too.
These videos were from the first month. You were so tiny! But so adorable. I loved your sneeze. Those were some memories though. You had a bad case of jaundice and were in the hospital for 5 days. You were born on Tuesday, June 3, 2008 and we didn't get discharged fully until Saturday, June 8th, 2008. You were the greatest baby I could have asked for. Until the fourth week you were home. It was crying from 8pm - 5am and then you'd sleep. That happened for about a week. But now you just talk back. On occasions. Everyday...but its okay. Mommy will never stop loving you.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
You Don't Need Him. He NEEDS You.
Dear Serenity,
Wanna see what grown ups talk about?!
I'm guessing it's safe to say that Ricky dislikes the arrangement that has been set forth by the court in regards to seeing you. And all I can say is that, he brought all this up on him. We gave him plenty of times to get his act together and do right by you and still it's a lost cause. Not only that but twice so far he has not been able to keep you a full 48 hours because "he doesn't like something that you had done or said to him." I hope and pray Serenity, that the people you are around now...Mommy, Daddy Moon, Grandpa, Grandma, Daddy Martin, Uncle Timmy, Auntie Mommy, Di Dieu, Di Nhi, Zoe and all your cousins will let you see that just because Ricky might not be a big part of your life...that you have this "Daddy Issues" when you are older. I have no doubt in my mind that Ricky loves you and cares for you because you are his daughter, but I also feel that he is on the opposite end of that as well because of what has happened in the past. I have let go and moved on and happy as can be. Too bad I can't say the same for Ricky. It's a shame though. He wanted time to spend with you and was given the time to spend with you but because its not to his liking, this is how he acts.
I'm not quite sure what emotional drama or stress Ricky is going through, and frankly, it's none of my business. But when it comes to you, it is my business and he doesn't seem to see that. No one is being dramatic and if anyone is being dramatic it's him. He said that you're "IT" like you're a thing because you told him you "hated" him...and now he acts as if it's all okay? What's worse?! He can't even come get you but has to send for you. Court order is that HE has to come get you...not someone else. I would have figured that he would have wanted to spend as much time with you as he can, but I guess I was wrong. I'm guessing it has to be on his terms. Unfortunately, I'm not willing to agree to his terms because he has yet to show me he's capable of meeting those terms. All I see and know, is same old Ricky.
I'm sorry Serenity. I'm sorry that Ricky is like this towards you and that you are too young to understand the bigger picture in all this. I'm sorry that there is nothing I can do to help Ricky grow up and realize that it's much more than what he thinks it is. I hope that as you get older, you read these posts and know how much I care for you. These are events that I know you won't remember, but I will never forget.
I can't tell the future of what may come between Ricky and you...but just know regardless of what Ricky decides and when that will ever happen....just know that I will forever and always love you.
Even though we have our mother/daughter differences...you will still be my baby girl.
Forever and always,
Mommy
Wanna see what grown ups talk about?!
| 04:53 PM | Ricky: How's thy doing ? |
| 04:54 PM | Khe Nguyen : Good. I got her a leap pad and shes playing. |
| 05:10 PM | Ricky: How's her school. I hear she don't like it. |
| 05:11 PM | Khe Nguyen : Its good. Its up and down. Today she told me that she wanted to go |
| ԀτȂback to school after i picked her up. | |
| 05:14 PM | Ricky: She isn't getting picked on or anything is she? |
| 05:14 PM | Khe Nguyen:Theres only 8 students in the class. she enjoys it. She just doesnt |
| like to b there without us. | |
| 05:22 PM | Any suggestions for what she should be for Halloween? |
| 05:42 PM | Ricky: She said that? |
| 05:43 PM | She's old enough to decide now. She can be whatever she wants. |
| 05:44 PM | Khe Nguyen : She doesnt get the concept of halloween. No. Every child goes throu |
| gh that. Its separation anxiety. | |
| 05:53 PM | Ricky: She has already grasped the concept. She likes playing dress up in jewelry and stuff. Same thing she just doesn't know what holidays are. |
| 05:57 PM |
I will be picking her up on the weekend she is scheduled to be here. (Mind you this is AFTER he said he no longer wanted to see you and that you were no daughter of his.) |
| 05:58 PM | Khe Nguyen : We need to sit down and have a conversation before that happens. |
| 05:59 PM | Ԁ̽ȁIts not fair to her that u come and pick her up and then drop her o |
| Ԁ̽Ȃff because she said something u didnt like. She doesnt need that. | |
| 06:17 PM | This is the same thing that happened before when she was younger. |
| 06:50 PM | Ricky: Oh I'm sorry, please retract that. I didn't mean to imply that I would be picking her up personally. But I will arrange for her to be picked up safely. And there is only one person I feel I need to speak with that person being Thy. This subject has nothing to do with you. It is between my daughter and I. Unless you need something for her I can find no reason to sit down and/or converse with you or anybody else. If you feel you have a need for dramatics be my guest, but I will not participate. And Furthermore if you decide that you don't want her to be here that is your decision you are her mother. Sad though it may be for me just know that it is her that will be affected the most. That is all I have to say take care and goodnight. (I find this kind of pathetic. He wants to see you but he will not take out the time to come and get you and drop you off...but rather he will send someone else to do it. I'm still debating about how I feel about this one...) |
| 07:24 PM | Khe Nguyen : Noone is being dramatic. I am doing what is best for Serenity. Something that i've come to terms that you cant be depended on for her sake. How do i not know ur gonna do a repeat of 2 weeks ago to just bring her home because u get upset or whatever the reason is i dont know. Serenity is a bright child and as her parents we should be able to sit down to speak with each other in regards to her. Your actions is in regards to her and if you dont recognize that than i dont see why you are making it more difficult on yourself. Whats sad is the reason you have this relationship with your daughter is because of what you did and did not do. So it does affect her but it was all on you. She will be fine with or without you being a part of her life. |
I'm guessing it's safe to say that Ricky dislikes the arrangement that has been set forth by the court in regards to seeing you. And all I can say is that, he brought all this up on him. We gave him plenty of times to get his act together and do right by you and still it's a lost cause. Not only that but twice so far he has not been able to keep you a full 48 hours because "he doesn't like something that you had done or said to him." I hope and pray Serenity, that the people you are around now...Mommy, Daddy Moon, Grandpa, Grandma, Daddy Martin, Uncle Timmy, Auntie Mommy, Di Dieu, Di Nhi, Zoe and all your cousins will let you see that just because Ricky might not be a big part of your life...that you have this "Daddy Issues" when you are older. I have no doubt in my mind that Ricky loves you and cares for you because you are his daughter, but I also feel that he is on the opposite end of that as well because of what has happened in the past. I have let go and moved on and happy as can be. Too bad I can't say the same for Ricky. It's a shame though. He wanted time to spend with you and was given the time to spend with you but because its not to his liking, this is how he acts.
I'm not quite sure what emotional drama or stress Ricky is going through, and frankly, it's none of my business. But when it comes to you, it is my business and he doesn't seem to see that. No one is being dramatic and if anyone is being dramatic it's him. He said that you're "IT" like you're a thing because you told him you "hated" him...and now he acts as if it's all okay? What's worse?! He can't even come get you but has to send for you. Court order is that HE has to come get you...not someone else. I would have figured that he would have wanted to spend as much time with you as he can, but I guess I was wrong. I'm guessing it has to be on his terms. Unfortunately, I'm not willing to agree to his terms because he has yet to show me he's capable of meeting those terms. All I see and know, is same old Ricky.
I'm sorry Serenity. I'm sorry that Ricky is like this towards you and that you are too young to understand the bigger picture in all this. I'm sorry that there is nothing I can do to help Ricky grow up and realize that it's much more than what he thinks it is. I hope that as you get older, you read these posts and know how much I care for you. These are events that I know you won't remember, but I will never forget.
I can't tell the future of what may come between Ricky and you...but just know regardless of what Ricky decides and when that will ever happen....just know that I will forever and always love you.
Even though we have our mother/daughter differences...you will still be my baby girl.
Forever and always,
Mommy
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
I Said it Before, I'll Say it Again
Dear Serenity,
I woke up last Saturday morning and my phone was ringing. I answered it and you were on the phone.
You told me wanted to come home.
The night before I called to make sure you took your medicine, you also told me you wanted to come home.
Apparently, you telling that to Ricky is hurting his feelings. Amazes me though. Last I checked, your father is 2 months younger than I am and therefore makes him 23 years older than you...but yet he can't get the concept that at the age of 3 sometimes, you need to be told what to do or what is going to happen?! He told me that he does not want to be a "dictator." In my book, it's called parenting. I guess Ricky has yet to figure that out yet...after 3 years I would have hoped he would have figured something out. I was wrong. At least in that aspect.
I posted before that Thelma and I had a conversation in which Ricky has a habit of going back to his old ways when things does not go the way HE want and 2 weeks ago...history repeated itself. Apparently you told Ricky and Thelma you hated them. Which oddly enough you tell me that when you are upset with me. So what did Ricky do? He packed up ALL the stuff he had for you and drove you home. Literally pulled up to the driveway, popped the trunk and unloaded your things. And wanna know what he said when he was done? "She's no daughter of mine. I'll pay for her, but I don't want to see her anymore." Does it surprise me? No.
What did surprise me was the fact that he packed up ALL your stuff and drove you home. What was more surprising? He only had 3 shirts for you! You had more toys than clothes...Of course, I guess you being over there for a total of 5 days out of the month is not a need for much clothes.
Like a big girl, you did not cry. You did ask for him though. And Thelma too. But you did not cry. I waited a bit before I contacted Ricky. To make sure that this is what he truly wanted in regards to no longer seeing you. His response was "Want who? It's just another bill to me. I'll give you the money for it Monday." Of course after a few days went by he texted to ask how you were doing. Told me that he got a job out of state making $6/hour. Which I find that hard to believe when minimum wage is $7.25/hour...but whatever. Oddly enough, Ricky is under court order to advise either me or the lawyer if he gets a job, so when I asked him if he was going to give the information, he replied to come find him. Why is it that he's also responsible for you but can't man up to help with you? And he jokes around like this? That clearly shows me that he truly does not care. Cause if he did, he would have done whatever he could to do right for you. It does baffles me though, he has no job and yet still manages to pay his bills. From what I know no one is helping him but one person, Thelma. I'll let people draw whatever conclusion they feel they may need to draw in regards to that.
Now that I think back about it. Him packing up all your stuff...he told me that he spent $300 for that first weekend you were to spend with him. Out of that $300 he couldn't even buy you the correct carseat....what in the world did he buy you?! It was sure as heck not the toys he dropped off here when he brought you home. All those toys were stuffed animals you win at the crane game or stuff people gave him or something.
So many thoughts are going through my mind...and I have no idea what to do or even what to say.
I guess it is meant for another day....
Forever and always,
Mommy
I woke up last Saturday morning and my phone was ringing. I answered it and you were on the phone.
You told me wanted to come home.
The night before I called to make sure you took your medicine, you also told me you wanted to come home.
Apparently, you telling that to Ricky is hurting his feelings. Amazes me though. Last I checked, your father is 2 months younger than I am and therefore makes him 23 years older than you...but yet he can't get the concept that at the age of 3 sometimes, you need to be told what to do or what is going to happen?! He told me that he does not want to be a "dictator." In my book, it's called parenting. I guess Ricky has yet to figure that out yet...after 3 years I would have hoped he would have figured something out. I was wrong. At least in that aspect.
I posted before that Thelma and I had a conversation in which Ricky has a habit of going back to his old ways when things does not go the way HE want and 2 weeks ago...history repeated itself. Apparently you told Ricky and Thelma you hated them. Which oddly enough you tell me that when you are upset with me. So what did Ricky do? He packed up ALL the stuff he had for you and drove you home. Literally pulled up to the driveway, popped the trunk and unloaded your things. And wanna know what he said when he was done? "She's no daughter of mine. I'll pay for her, but I don't want to see her anymore." Does it surprise me? No.
What did surprise me was the fact that he packed up ALL your stuff and drove you home. What was more surprising? He only had 3 shirts for you! You had more toys than clothes...Of course, I guess you being over there for a total of 5 days out of the month is not a need for much clothes.
Like a big girl, you did not cry. You did ask for him though. And Thelma too. But you did not cry. I waited a bit before I contacted Ricky. To make sure that this is what he truly wanted in regards to no longer seeing you. His response was "Want who? It's just another bill to me. I'll give you the money for it Monday." Of course after a few days went by he texted to ask how you were doing. Told me that he got a job out of state making $6/hour. Which I find that hard to believe when minimum wage is $7.25/hour...but whatever. Oddly enough, Ricky is under court order to advise either me or the lawyer if he gets a job, so when I asked him if he was going to give the information, he replied to come find him. Why is it that he's also responsible for you but can't man up to help with you? And he jokes around like this? That clearly shows me that he truly does not care. Cause if he did, he would have done whatever he could to do right for you. It does baffles me though, he has no job and yet still manages to pay his bills. From what I know no one is helping him but one person, Thelma. I'll let people draw whatever conclusion they feel they may need to draw in regards to that.
Now that I think back about it. Him packing up all your stuff...he told me that he spent $300 for that first weekend you were to spend with him. Out of that $300 he couldn't even buy you the correct carseat....what in the world did he buy you?! It was sure as heck not the toys he dropped off here when he brought you home. All those toys were stuffed animals you win at the crane game or stuff people gave him or something.
So many thoughts are going through my mind...and I have no idea what to do or even what to say.
I guess it is meant for another day....
Forever and always,
Mommy
Friday, September 16, 2011
Everyone Deserves to Be Happy
Dear Serenity,
Today is your father's weekend. He is to come and get you in a few hours.
You are currently slumbering away.
These past few days you have been sick and your fever has been coming and going. Makes me wonder what is going on with you. Other than that, I am so very proud of you for many thing.
First off, your teachers have nothing but great things to let me know about your progress in school. Ms. Courtney tells me that you are doing a great job with tracing the letters and I am so happy that you are catching on. I've learned that you are a visual learner. That was through the computer game you played. You are able to see a letter, and pick it out. I can't wait till you start writing.
Second, your curiosity. I have to admit at times it gets kind of annoying, but I would not have it any other way.
You constantly ask me, "Mommy, what's that?" or "Mommy, what are you doing?" and now, you started calling me "Mom" which I find kind of odd but cute at the same time.
Third, you have started "school" (daycare) and you are so not liking it. Every night you tell me that you do not want to go to school. You tell me that you want to go to your Daddy's instead. I think you fail to realize that even if you go to your Daddy's you'll still have to go to school...
Fourth, you have the cutest smile!!! See pictures for reference :)
2 weeks ago when Thelma came to pick you up AND drop you off, I came to realize something. Although your father and I were not and will never be married, I'm afraid to say, he and I are sad statistics. That was really something I was hoping NOT to happen, but I guess that does not matter...
According to Thelma your Daddy's website is soon to be launched for his aspiring line...and so when he did not come to pick you up, it was because he was in a meeting. Well...48 hours later for him to drop you off...Thelma dropped you off. And from what she tells me, he is a GREAT father to you. Honestly, I have no doubt that he is a great father to you. What does amaze me is that supposedly he has turned his life around, but it was not because of you, it was because of Thelma. And I am very happy for your father. He deserves to be happy just like we are with Daddy Moon. But in a sense, I can't help but feel disappointed that it was not you that helped him see the error in his ways. According to Thelma, he does everything for you. Which I have yet seen so therefore I'm sorry that my opinion in regards to your father is still the same as before.
I want you to know that getting involved with the courts was NOT my first option. It was actually my last. It all started when your father and I were clearly not going to work. He had his own ways and I had mine. Too bad our ways did not combine to compromise...and you know what, I am absolutely fine with it. I hate to see that your father and I are like this. I hope you know that I do not want you to see us like this. I was hoping that your father had grown up and matured to where he and I could be civil with one another, but apparently that will not be happening. According to Thelma, your father hates me because he is not able to see you as often as he would like. What do I have to say in regards to that? Simple, if he is so unhappy with it, take me back to court and fight for you. I'm guessing he's told a lot of people that I kept you from him and would not allow you to see him in the past...that is a lie. Why? Simple, your aunts have restaurants and your father knew where they are located as well as where we live. If I truly wanted to keep you from him why would I have paid to get the court papers done? He loves you right? Than what is keeping him from wanting only the best for you? That's what the child support money is for. He has money to work on his line, money for his apartment, his gas, his car, and so to me he's able to support himself and his girlfriend, but he does not have enough for you. Well baby girl, I guess we know where his priorities are.
Thelma told me that the past is the past. And you know what she is right. So that is why I went and got the money together so that the paperwork could be filed and done so that there was no issues in regards of when who gets you. He could have fought for more time with you when we went to court, he didn't. So why is he getting upset with me? I called you tonight cause I wanted to make sure you took your medicine and had dinner...you told me you wanted to come home to me. I could hear your father in the background, "If you want to go home, I can take you home. I don't care." What the hell is his problem? You're three years old...you are going to say things that neither one of us will like and I've gotten used to it. So what, he sees you for 48 hours every other week...isn't that better than nothing? There are plenty of times during the week when you want something and I don't give it to you that you tell me you want to go to your father's and not stay with me. What do I tell you? You don't always get what you want.
I admire Thelma. I really do. And I am very happy that your father has found someone who loves him and cares for him as much as he seems to love and care for her. It's true that when your father and I were together, I did hope that he and I would be together because I did not wish for you to grow up with your parents at war with one another, but until your father can get over the fact that he has to make the best of the time with you as he can with what he has been given...I don't think your father and I are on the "friends" page...more like bitter acquaintances. Thelma told me that there had to be something that attracted your father and I together that we made such a wonderful child...and she's right. But to me, that same thing that attracted your father and I was the same thing that tore us apart. Regardless of that, I still wish your father the best on all that he does and that he's happy. Everyone deserves a fairy tale ending. It's just that for some it takes longer to get to than others.
Missing you much and waiting for you to come back Sunday,
Forever and always,
Mommy
Today is your father's weekend. He is to come and get you in a few hours.
You are currently slumbering away.
These past few days you have been sick and your fever has been coming and going. Makes me wonder what is going on with you. Other than that, I am so very proud of you for many thing.
First off, your teachers have nothing but great things to let me know about your progress in school. Ms. Courtney tells me that you are doing a great job with tracing the letters and I am so happy that you are catching on. I've learned that you are a visual learner. That was through the computer game you played. You are able to see a letter, and pick it out. I can't wait till you start writing.
Second, your curiosity. I have to admit at times it gets kind of annoying, but I would not have it any other way.
You constantly ask me, "Mommy, what's that?" or "Mommy, what are you doing?" and now, you started calling me "Mom" which I find kind of odd but cute at the same time.
Third, you have started "school" (daycare) and you are so not liking it. Every night you tell me that you do not want to go to school. You tell me that you want to go to your Daddy's instead. I think you fail to realize that even if you go to your Daddy's you'll still have to go to school...
Fourth, you have the cutest smile!!! See pictures for reference :)
2 weeks ago when Thelma came to pick you up AND drop you off, I came to realize something. Although your father and I were not and will never be married, I'm afraid to say, he and I are sad statistics. That was really something I was hoping NOT to happen, but I guess that does not matter...
According to Thelma your Daddy's website is soon to be launched for his aspiring line...and so when he did not come to pick you up, it was because he was in a meeting. Well...48 hours later for him to drop you off...Thelma dropped you off. And from what she tells me, he is a GREAT father to you. Honestly, I have no doubt that he is a great father to you. What does amaze me is that supposedly he has turned his life around, but it was not because of you, it was because of Thelma. And I am very happy for your father. He deserves to be happy just like we are with Daddy Moon. But in a sense, I can't help but feel disappointed that it was not you that helped him see the error in his ways. According to Thelma, he does everything for you. Which I have yet seen so therefore I'm sorry that my opinion in regards to your father is still the same as before.
I want you to know that getting involved with the courts was NOT my first option. It was actually my last. It all started when your father and I were clearly not going to work. He had his own ways and I had mine. Too bad our ways did not combine to compromise...and you know what, I am absolutely fine with it. I hate to see that your father and I are like this. I hope you know that I do not want you to see us like this. I was hoping that your father had grown up and matured to where he and I could be civil with one another, but apparently that will not be happening. According to Thelma, your father hates me because he is not able to see you as often as he would like. What do I have to say in regards to that? Simple, if he is so unhappy with it, take me back to court and fight for you. I'm guessing he's told a lot of people that I kept you from him and would not allow you to see him in the past...that is a lie. Why? Simple, your aunts have restaurants and your father knew where they are located as well as where we live. If I truly wanted to keep you from him why would I have paid to get the court papers done? He loves you right? Than what is keeping him from wanting only the best for you? That's what the child support money is for. He has money to work on his line, money for his apartment, his gas, his car, and so to me he's able to support himself and his girlfriend, but he does not have enough for you. Well baby girl, I guess we know where his priorities are.
Thelma told me that the past is the past. And you know what she is right. So that is why I went and got the money together so that the paperwork could be filed and done so that there was no issues in regards of when who gets you. He could have fought for more time with you when we went to court, he didn't. So why is he getting upset with me? I called you tonight cause I wanted to make sure you took your medicine and had dinner...you told me you wanted to come home to me. I could hear your father in the background, "If you want to go home, I can take you home. I don't care." What the hell is his problem? You're three years old...you are going to say things that neither one of us will like and I've gotten used to it. So what, he sees you for 48 hours every other week...isn't that better than nothing? There are plenty of times during the week when you want something and I don't give it to you that you tell me you want to go to your father's and not stay with me. What do I tell you? You don't always get what you want.
I admire Thelma. I really do. And I am very happy that your father has found someone who loves him and cares for him as much as he seems to love and care for her. It's true that when your father and I were together, I did hope that he and I would be together because I did not wish for you to grow up with your parents at war with one another, but until your father can get over the fact that he has to make the best of the time with you as he can with what he has been given...I don't think your father and I are on the "friends" page...more like bitter acquaintances. Thelma told me that there had to be something that attracted your father and I together that we made such a wonderful child...and she's right. But to me, that same thing that attracted your father and I was the same thing that tore us apart. Regardless of that, I still wish your father the best on all that he does and that he's happy. Everyone deserves a fairy tale ending. It's just that for some it takes longer to get to than others.
Missing you much and waiting for you to come back Sunday,
Forever and always,
Mommy
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